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I once asked my English teacher for writing advice, and she said, "Show, don't tell." So now I just carry around a puppet everywhere I go, trying to communicate without words. Thanks, Ms. Johnson.
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English teachers love to use metaphors to explain complex concepts. "Writing an essay is like building a house," they say. Well, if that's the case, my essays must be condemned buildings with a shaky foundation.
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English teachers always claim that grammar is essential in real life. I haven't used a semicolon since high school, but I did successfully use emojis to convey my emotions in a text message.
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English teachers love to tell you that reading expands your horizons. Well, after reading so many classics, my horizons have expanded to the point where I can now identify the perfect spot to take a nap in any room.
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English teachers have this incredible talent for finding deeper meanings in everything. I once wrote an essay about my pet goldfish, and my teacher insisted it was a profound allegory for the human condition. I just thought my fish liked swimming in circles.
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You know you have an English teacher who's been in the game for a while when they can turn a simple sentence into a Shakespearean soliloquy. "To submit or not to submit, that is the question.
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Have you ever noticed how English teachers can spot a grammatical error from a mile away? It's like they have grammar radar. I once tried to slip a misplaced comma past my teacher, and she caught it like a superhero saving the English language.
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English teachers have this magical ability to assign the longest books with the smallest font for summer reading. It's like they're secretly working for the eyeglass industry.
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My English teacher used to say, "The pen is mightier than the sword." I'm not sure about that, but I do know that a well-thrown eraser can leave a lasting impact on a distracted student.
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