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Joke Types
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Why did the dog refuse to eat the homework? It wanted a well-balanced meal!
Doggy Dining Dilemma
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They say some cultures consider dog meat a delicacy. I don't get it. I mean, we've got cows, chickens, and pigs – the classics. But dogs? I can't picture sitting down for a nice family dinner and someone says, Pass the ketchup for the labrador. I'll stick to my regular menu, thank you very much.
Doggy Dieting
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I tried putting my dog on a diet once. The vet said he needed to lose a few pounds. So, I started giving him diet dog food. Have you seen that stuff? It looks like cardboard and probably tastes worse. My dog took one sniff and gave me a look that said, You're on your own, pal.
Canine Cuisine Critics
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I've seen some tough food critics in my time, but imagine a dog as a food critic. You serve him a meal, and he just sniffs it and walks away, leaving a Yelp review that says, Two paws down – not enough flavor, too much human. Talk about a harsh critic!
Fast Food Fur-real
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I heard about a place that claims to have the fastest drive-thru in town. I thought, How do they manage that? Do they have a pack of dogs delivering meals? I guess if you order a burger, they throw in a complimentary game of fetch.
Barking up the Wrong Menu
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I'm not judging, but if your idea of a gourmet meal involves Man's Best Friend, we might have a problem. I mean, can you imagine a cooking show where the chef says, Today, we're making a delightful Chihuahua casserole? It's a hard pass from me.
Doggy Bag Diaries
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You ever notice how some people treat their dogs like royalty? I mean, I love dogs too, but there's a fine line. I was at this fancy restaurant the other day, and the guy at the next table was talking about his dog's gourmet diet. I'm thinking, my dog's lucky if he gets a bone and some kibble. This guy's dog has its own chef! I told him, My dog eats whatever falls on the floor. He's the original vacuum cleaner.
Pawsitively Bizarre Tastes
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People are into all sorts of strange diets these days. Some are even claiming that eating dog meat has health benefits. Really? The only health benefit I see is that you'll never have to worry about your dog stealing your dinner.
The Ultimate Hot Dog Stand
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I read about a place that serves hot dogs made from exotic meats, and one option is dog meat. I thought, Who's going there, Cruella de Vil? I can just imagine their slogan: Our hot dogs are so good; you'll wonder who let them out of the kitchen!
Fetch and Fries
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You know you've crossed a line when your dog starts looking at you like a potential meal. I threw a ball for my dog the other day, and he brought back a cookbook. I said, Buddy, we're not taking this fetch game to the next level. No Gordon Ramsay recipes for you.
The Canine Culinary Conundrum
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I heard there's a trend of people eating dog meat in some places. Can you imagine going to a restaurant and seeing Fido Filet on the menu? I don't know about you, but I prefer my hot dogs without the hot part. I don't want to know the dog's name before I eat it. Just call it a mystery meat and let me enjoy my meal in blissful ignorance.
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