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You know, I recently discovered a new species in my social circle – the "Earther." These are the folks who seem genuinely surprised when they step outside and find the sky is still there. "Oh, look, the sky! Who knew?
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I have a friend who's a hardcore "Earther." He thinks the idea of life on other planets is absurd. I asked him, "Do you believe in aliens?" He said, "No, but I believe in Karen from HR. She's out of this world.
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I was chatting with a hardcore "Earther" who said, "Why would anyone want to leave this beautiful planet?" I replied, "Have you seen the Wi-Fi coverage on Mount Everest? That's a dead zone, my friend. I need my internet fix.
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You ever notice how "Earthers" panic when they lose cell service? It's like the end of the world for them. Meanwhile, I'm just thinking, "Finally, some peace and quiet from all those nature documentaries they keep sharing.
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The "Earther" mindset is fascinating. I told one that I enjoy hiking, and they responded with, "Why hike when you can just scroll through pictures of mountains online?" Yeah, because sweating and sore legs are overrated.
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Earthers" have this unique ability to make any conversation about Earth. You could be discussing the latest superhero movie, and they'll chime in with, "Well, in my garden, I have tomatoes that could save the world.
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You ever notice how "Earthers" treat a rainy day like it's a personal insult? They're like, "Ugh, why is it raining? I had plans!" Yeah, well, Mother Nature had other plans, Carol. Get over it.
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Have you ever met someone who's such an "Earther" that when you mention space exploration, they respond with, "Why bother? Everything we need is right here on Earth." Yeah, tell that to my Wi-Fi signal during a Netflix binge.
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I have a friend who's such an "Earther" that when I suggested we go stargazing, he said, "Why bother? We can just watch a documentary about space on my flat-screen." Yeah, because Neil Armstrong totally had a 4K TV on the moon.
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