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Why did the duffel bag attend yoga class? To master the art of flexibility!
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Why did the duffel bag go to school? Because it wanted to be a carrier of knowledge!
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Why did the duffel bag bring a map to the party? It didn't want to get carried away!
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Why did the duffel bag get a job at the airport? It wanted to take off in its career!
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Why did the duffel bag take a selfie? It wanted to capture its 'baggage' in one picture!
The Duffel Bag Diet
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I've started a new diet trend: the duffel bag diet. It's simple; you carry your snacks in a duffel bag everywhere you go. The weight of the bag and the shame of constantly snacking keeps you in shape. It's the only diet where you gain muscle and lose friends.
Duffel Bag vs. Grocery Shopping
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I tried using my duffel bag instead of grocery bags once. Let me tell you, walking home with a duffel bag full of vegetables makes you feel like you're training for the produce Olympics. I call it the grocery gym workout.
The Mystery of the Duffel Bag
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You ever notice how owning a duffel bag instantly makes you feel like you're part of some covert operation? I mean, I got one recently, and now every time I walk down the street, I'm convinced people are thinking, There goes Dave, probably smuggling snacks into the movie theater.
Duffel Bag: The Gym's Greatest Mystery
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I take my duffel bag to the gym religiously. People stare at it like it's some magical fitness artifact. I'm just waiting for someone to approach me and ask, Is that where you keep the secret to staying motivated?
Duffel Bag: The Modern Mary Poppins
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I'm convinced that a duffel bag is the Mary Poppins of adulthood. You never know what's going to come out of it. Last week, I reached in for my phone, and out came a pair of socks, a sandwich, and a Sudoku puzzle. I'm just waiting for the umbrella to show up.
Duffel Bag: The Impersonator
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I use my duffel bag as a disguise. I walk into places, and people assume I'm there for something important. It's like having a VIP pass everywhere I go. Little do they know, it's mostly filled with old receipts and a collection of weirdly shaped pens.
Duffel Bag: The Time Machine
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I'm convinced my duffel bag is a time machine. I lose track of time whenever I open it. Five minutes in the real world equals five hours in duffel bag time. I call it the dimensional snack vortex. Don't open it unless you have a few hours to spare.
Duffel Bag: The Fashion Statement
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I decided to bring my duffel bag to a high-end fashion store. The salesperson looked at me and said, Sir, this is a luxury boutique. I replied, Exactly! My duffel bag is so exclusive, it doesn't even know what's inside itself.
Duffel Bag: The Airport Conundrum
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Taking a duffel bag through airport security is like playing luggage roulette. You're standing there, praying the TSA agent doesn't pull out your underwear and wave it around like a victory flag. It's the only time I wish my duffel bag had a 'privacy mode.
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