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I've come to the conclusion that the fridge light doesn't actually turn off when you close the door. It just gets shy and pretends to be off. Sneak a peek next time; you'll catch it blushing.
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We all have that one friend who takes forever to reply to a text, and when they finally do, it's like they're continuing a conversation that happened in a parallel universe. "Oh, we're talking about weekend plans now? I thought we were discussing the weather from three days ago.
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I recently realized that my bed is a lot like my phone charger. I spend all day looking for it, and when I finally find it, I realize I've only got about 10% left.
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I love how the phrase "Do you have a minute?" has become the adult version of "Are you sitting comfortably? Then let me tell you a tale." Spoiler alert: that minute is a commitment, my friend.
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Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are weak? It's like we're sending telepathic messages to the TV, saying, "Come on, just one more episode. I believe in you!
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You ever notice how the checkout line at the grocery store has that tempting display of candy? It's like they're daring you to make eye contact and reconsider your life choices. "Oh, you just wanted some broccoli and toothpaste? How about a chocolate bar and some gummy worms instead?
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Why do we call it a "shortcut" when taking a new route always seems to end up being the scenic route of confusion? I took a shortcut the other day, and I'm pretty sure I ended up in Narnia.
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You know you're an adult when your favorite part of the day is when the coffee finally kicks in. It's like the heavens open, angels sing, and suddenly you're ready to tackle your email inbox.
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Why do we apologize to inanimate objects when we bump into them? "Oh, sorry, Mr. Coffee Table. My bad." It's like we're trying to maintain good relations with the furniture kingdom.
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