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Elevators are fascinating. It's the only place where strangers willingly huddle together in awkward silence, trying not to make eye contact. And let's not forget the unspoken agreement that if someone dares to devour a snack, everyone pretends not to notice. It's the snacking safe zone.
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I've realized that my pet goldfish has a lot in common with my friends when it comes to snacks. They all have this impressive skill of devouring anything you throw their way. I introduced them to goldfish crackers once, and now I can't tell who's more excited – the friends or the fish.
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Have you ever noticed how time has this sneaky way of devouring your weekend plans? You start with a to-do list, and next thing you know, it's Sunday evening, and all you've accomplished is a Netflix marathon and mastering the art of napping. Time management? More like time devourment.
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You ever notice how pizza has this magical ability to disappear at parties? I mean, it's like everyone's on a mission to devour the slices before the conversation even gets a chance. It's the only time where you can witness both small talk and large bites happening simultaneously.
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Social media is a treasure trove of oversharing. People will devour a whole plate of drama and then serve it up for the world to see. It's like a soap opera where everyone has a front-row seat, and you can't look away even if you wanted to. Pass the popcorn – or should I say, pass the scroll?
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Have you ever noticed that whenever you get a bag of chips, it's like opening a portal to another dimension? You start with a full bag, blink, and suddenly you're staring into the abyss of crumbs. It's the snack-time equivalent of a magic trick – now you see it, now you don't.
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Dating is a lot like trying to savor a delicious meal. You start off thinking you'll take it slow, enjoy every bite, but then emotions kick in, and it's like you're in a speed-eating contest. Before you know it, you've devoured the relationship, and all that's left are the crumbs of memories.
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The grocery store checkout line is the ultimate test of willpower. You start with a cart full of groceries, and by the time you reach the cashier, you've somehow managed to devour half of your snacks. It's like the checkout is the last level of a snacking video game.
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I've come to the conclusion that laundry machines are like the black holes of socks. You put in a pair, and somehow, one always manages to vanish. I swear there's a sock-eating monster living in there, with a sophisticated taste for single socks and a disdain for matching pairs.
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Let's talk about smartphones for a moment. They're like tiny black holes that can devour hours of your life without you even realizing it. You just intend to check the time, and suddenly you're knee-deep in cat videos, conspiracy theories, and your grandma's cousin's vacation photos from 1982.
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