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You know, folks, my dad just turned 40, and I was tasked with organizing his birthday bash. Now, planning a party for someone hitting the big 4-0 is like trying to plan a surprise for Sherlock Holmes. The man can deduce anything! I was trying to keep it a secret, and he walks in, takes one look at the decorations, and goes, "Is this a midlife crisis theme?" I tried to make it special, you know, booked a nice venue, hired a DJ, even got a magician. Yeah, a magician. Because nothing says "Happy 40th" like making half your life disappear. But the magician, he was a bit too honest. Dad asked him, "Can you make me feel 25 again?" And the magician goes, "I can make you feel 30, but 25 is pushing it.
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So, after the birthday party, my dad decided to get in shape. He's like, "I'm 40, and it's time for a fitness resolution!" Now, don't get me wrong, it's great that he's motivated, but let's be real. Dad's idea of a workout is finding the TV remote without asking me where it is. He went all out, bought a fancy fitness tracker. You know those gadgets that monitor your steps? Well, his tracker must be confused because it thinks he's running a marathon every time he goes to the fridge. I swear, the only race he's winning is the one to the closest fast-food joint.
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So, with the big 4-0, my dad decided it was time for a wardrobe upgrade. He came home with skinny jeans and a leather jacket, trying to channel his inner James Dean. I looked at him and said, "Dad, you're more James and less Dean at this point." He even tried to pull off a man bun. Yeah, a man bun! It looked more like a cinnamon roll on the back of his head. I told him, "Dad, the only buns you should be worried about are the ones in the oven, not on your head.
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Now, my dad's officially in his 40s, and he's trying to keep up with technology. It's like watching a monkey trying to use a smartphone. He asked me, "What's this app everyone's talking about?" I said, "Instagram, Dad." He goes, "Oh, is that the one where you post instant noodles recipes?" He's also into emojis now, but he uses them like hieroglyphics. I received a text that looked like an ancient message. There was a fire emoji, a thumbs up, and a confused face. I asked him what it meant, and he said, "I tried cooking. It burned. I give up.
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