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You ever notice how the word "commode" sounds like it should be the name of a superhero? I can already imagine it: Commode Man, fighting crime one flush at a time. But seriously, why do we call it a commode? It's like we're trying to make the act of going to the bathroom sound fancy. "Excuse me, I'll be right back; nature is calling, and I must answer the commode's majestic plea!" And don't get me started on public restrooms. They're like the battlegrounds of the bodily functions. You walk in, and it's like entering a war zone. You're tiptoeing through puddles, doing acrobatics to avoid touching anything, and you practically need a hazmat suit just to survive the experience. It's like a game of "Operation," but instead of a buzzer, it's the judgmental gaze of everyone else in there.
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Have you ever been in a situation where you're at someone else's house, and the flush handle is a mystery? It's like being on a spy mission trying to figure out which button launches the nuclear codes. You're standing there, staring at a panel of options, and every second feels like a countdown to disaster. Do I pull, push, twist, or chant a secret password? It's a code red situation in the bathroom. And can we talk about the awkwardness of bathroom noises? You're in a silent restroom, and suddenly your body decides to unleash a symphony of sounds. You start thinking of ways to cover it up, like fake coughing or loudly humming a song. It's like your digestive system has a sense of humor, and it loves to test you when you least expect it.
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Let's talk about toilet paper for a moment. Why is it that every time I need it the most, it's like I'm unraveling a mummy? It's like the toilet paper is in on some conspiracy to make my life more challenging. You start pulling, thinking you've got a decent amount, and suddenly it's gone. Poof! Like a magician's trick, but instead of a rabbit, you're left with disappointment. And can we address the fact that there are entire debates about whether the toilet paper should go over or under? People are passionate about this! It's like the toilet paper orientation is the hot topic in the bathroom political arena. I just want to get the job done, folks. I don't need my toilet paper participating in a fashion show; I just need it to do its job!
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You ever notice how public restrooms always have that one stall with a perpetually closed door? It's like the VIP section for ghosts or something. I always wonder, what's going on in there? Are they holding secret meetings? Is it the gateway to Narnia? Maybe it's the office of the restroom mayor, and they're dealing with serious toilet-related matters. And don't even get me started on the automatic flushing toilets. I swear, they have a mind of their own. You finish your business, stand up, and bam! The toilet flushes like it's auditioning for "America's Got Talent." It's like the toilet is saying, "Thank you for your performance; now exit the stage." I just want to wash my hands in peace, not get a surprise encore from the plumbing.
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