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The Paranoid Ghost
Fearing the living and their superstitions
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People bring Ouija boards to the churchyard. I'm just waiting for the day they accidentally summon a ghost pizza delivery guy. "Hey, I ordered this 200 years ago, where's my tip?
The Grumpy Groundskeeper
Dealing with unconventional requests
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Someone asked if they could plant flowers on their relative's grave. I said, "Of course, but if those flowers start speaking in Shakespearean sonnets, I'm outta here. I signed up for cemetery duty, not a floral Shakespeare festival.
The Confused Tourist Ghost
Navigating the afterlife tourism
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The other day, a tourist asked for directions to the afterlife gift shop. I said, "Just follow the light, take a left at purgatory, and if you see a souvenir stand selling ghostly snow globes, you've gone too far.
The Grave Digger
Dealing with demanding clients
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Someone asked me if they could be buried with their favorite possessions. I told them, "Sure, but if you have a pet elephant, we might need a bigger plot. And I'm not responsible for any ghostly stampedes.
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