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You ever notice how people always say, "She's got a cheeky smile" or "He's got a cheeky sense of humor"? What does that even mean? Are we all secretly part of some underground cheek club that I didn't know about? I mean, I get it. Cheeks are adorable. Babies have those pinchable little cheeks, and you're like, "Aw, so cute!" But then, when adults are described as cheeky, it's like, are we still cute, or are we just being annoying?
And what's the deal with the word "cheeky" anyway? It's like a socially acceptable way of saying, "Hey, you're being a bit of a smartass, but we kinda like it." It's a compliment with a hint of mischief.
I tried being cheeky once. I walked into a job interview and the guy says, "Tell me a joke." So, I said, "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything." He just stared at me, and I didn't get the job. Maybe I'm just not cut out for cheeky business.
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You ever notice how people always have cheeky excuses for things? Like when you forget to do something and you're like, "Oh, sorry, must have been a brain fart." Can we use that for everything? Late to a meeting? "Sorry, had a cheek cramp. Couldn't walk properly."
Forgot your friend's birthday? "Oh, my cheeks were distracting me. It happens."
I think we should start a trend of blaming everything on our cheeks. Imagine a world where nobody takes things too seriously because, hey, it's just the cheeks acting up again. It's the perfect excuse for any situation.
And if someone questions you, just respond with a cheeky grin and say, "It's a cheek thing, you wouldn't understand." It's the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.
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You ever sit on one of those hard wooden chairs for too long? You stand up, and suddenly, you've got cheeks of steel. I'm convinced that those chairs were invented by some evil genius who wanted to secretly train us all for a cheek muscle Olympics. You stand up, and your friends are like, "Why are you walking like a penguin?" And you're like, "Oh, just did a little workout on the ol' cheek muscles. No big deal."
But seriously, why can't chairs come with built-in cushions? I want a chair that feels like sitting on a cloud, not one that turns my butt into a temporary iron throne. Maybe they should start rating chairs based on their comfort level for extended cheek occupancy.
And don't get me started on those metal bleachers at sports games. If you've never experienced the pain of a cold metal bleacher meeting your unsuspecting cheeks on a chilly day, count yourself lucky. It's like a wake-up call for your entire backside.
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You know what's strange? The tradition of kissing someone on both cheeks as a form of greeting. I mean, who came up with that? It's like, "Hello, nice to meet you. Now, let's rub our faces together." And then there's the awkward moment when you're not sure if it's a one-cheek or two-cheek situation. You lean in for one, they go for two, and suddenly, it's a cheek collision. It's like a dance, but with faces.
I tried to bring that tradition to my workplace once. Walked up to my boss and said, "Hey, good morning!" and went in for the double-cheek kiss. Let's just say HR had a few questions for me after that.
Maybe we should come up with some new cheeky traditions. Like instead of a handshake, we all just give each other a gentle pat on the cheek. It's a bold move, but imagine the bonding experiences we'd have.
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