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The Conspiracy Theorist
Believing every chat hides a secret agenda
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I tried to discuss the weather with a conspiracy theorist. He said, "Weather? You mean the government's way of distracting us from the impending alien invasion?" I just wanted to know if I should bring an umbrella.
The Awkward Listener
Nodding along but not actually paying attention
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I was telling a story to my friend, and he was nodding vigorously. I asked, "Are you even listening?" He said, "Of course, I heard every word." Turns out, he heard them, but they were on a different frequency.
The Serial Texter
Constantly texting during face-to-face conversations
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I asked my friend why he's always texting during our chats. He said, "I'm just maintaining my social media presence." I told him he's present physically but socially absent. He replied with an emoji. Classic.
Overly Enthusiastic Chatterbox
Trying to make friends but talking too much
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I went to a party with this chatty friend, and when we left, he said, "I think we really connected with people tonight." I'm pretty sure they connected with us mainly through the exit sign.
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