4 Cards Against Humanity Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 26 2024

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I've developed a strategy for Cards Against Humanity. You gotta be strategic about it; it's not just about throwing down the most absurd card. You have to read the room, understand your opponents, and predict the judge's sense of humor. It's like a messed-up game of poker, but instead of bluffing with cards, you're bluffing with your moral compass.
I played with this overly competitive friend who always had to win. The black card was, "What's that sound?" I knew he was into music, so I played the ultimate trump card: "The violation of our most basic human rights." Boom! Game over. I didn't just win the round; I made him question his life choices.
You ever notice how Cards Against Humanity brings out the awkward charm in people? There's this strange camaraderie that forms when you're all just trying to out-weird each other. It's like a support group for closet weirdos. You know it's a unique game when the goal is to make your friends cringe and laugh simultaneously.
I played with my aunt once, who's this sweet, innocent lady. She draws a card that says, "What did I bring back from Mexico?" Her eyes widen, and she goes, "A fetus." I mean, talk about a cultural exchange program gone wrong! Suddenly, the sombrero I brought seems a bit mundane.
Cards Against Humanity is like therapy for the socially awkward. It's a safe space to express your inner weirdness without judgment. You can play the most messed-up card, and everyone just laughs it off. It's cheaper than therapy, that's for sure.
I played with my therapist once – yes, even therapists need therapy. The black card said, "What's my anti-drug?" I thought, okay, let's get deep. I played, "Pretending to care." My therapist looks at me, nods, and goes, "Honestly, it's a start." And just like that, Cards Against Humanity saved me fifty bucks on a counseling session.
You guys ever played Cards Against Humanity? It's like the adult version of trying to keep a straight face during a family game night. You know, the game where you're given these white cards with innocent-sounding phrases and you have to match them with the black cards that have these incredibly inappropriate scenarios. It's like, "Oh, grandma's knitting a sweater? Let me match that with 'Mouth herpes'!"
I played it with my friends the other day, and I pulled a card that said, "What helps Obama unwind?" I thought, okay, this is a no-brainer, right? I put down "Michelle's disapproving stare." Turns out, my friend had a wilder imagination. He puts down, "A windmill full of corpses." I mean, what kind of stress relief is that? Suddenly, Michelle's disapproving stare seems like a day at the spa!

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