17 Cards Against Humanity Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jun 26 2024

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Why did the card break up with the envelope? It couldn't handle the 'seal' of approval.
Why did the joker always carry a pencil? In case he needed to draw a conclusion.
I told my cards a joke, but they were not impressed. They said it was too 'deck'-sperate.
What's a card's favorite workout? Squat and shuffle!
Why did the magician turn his credit card into a rabbit? He wanted to buy something 'hare-raising'!
Why did the card file a police report? It got dealt a bad hand.
I tried to make a joke about cards, but it was a 'shuffle' joke.

Words You Can't Unhear

Some of those combinations create mental images you can't unsee. I've had nightmares about penguins wearing leather harnesses ever since.

Card Rehab Needed

After a game, I always feel like I need a support group or, at the very least, a Cards Against Humanity rehab. Hi, my name is [Your Name], and I once played a card that made my grandmother disown me.

Breaking Social Norms

It's the only game where breaking social norms is not only accepted but encouraged. If you're not offending someone, you're not playing it right.

Therapy in a Box

They should rebrand it as Therapy in a Box. Nothing brings a family closer together than confronting their collective neuroses in the form of hilariously inappropriate cards.

Relationship Stress Test

Couples, be warned. Playing Cards Against Humanity is the ultimate relationship stress test. If you can survive that game without a breakup, you can survive anything.

When in Doubt, Blame the Cards

I love how people blame the cards when things get too crazy. It's not me saying these things; it's the cards! Yeah, right. The cards made you confess your weirdest secret, sure.

Inappropriate Family Gatherings

I played it with my family once. Now, our family reunions are just a series of awkward glances and whispered therapy appointments.

Cards Against Humanity

You ever played Cards Against Humanity? It's like a game designed by a group of sociopaths who thought, You know what would be fun? Ruining friendships and offending everyone we know.

When Grandma Gets a Wild Card

And don't get me started on when Grandma plays a wild card. Suddenly, the sweet old lady you thought you knew has a dark side that would make a sailor blush.

Questionable Life Choices

The game makes you question your life choices. You find yourself saying things like, Well, I never thought I'd admit to that in public, but here we are!

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