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You ever notice how when you witness a car accident, time seems to slow down? It's like, suddenly you're in the world's weirdest slow-motion action movie, and you didn't even buy a ticket. "Coming this summer: The Crashening – now playing at an intersection near you!
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You know you're in a wild neighborhood when the most action you see is the occasional car accident. "It's like our version of blockbuster entertainment – no need for Netflix, just grab a lawn chair and watch the chaos unfold.
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You ever notice that the more expensive the car, the slower the other drivers are to let you merge? It's like they're afraid their BMW will catch "merge-itis" if they let you in. "Sorry, buddy, my Kia won't infect your Mercedes, I promise!
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You ever try to play it cool after a minor car accident? "Oh, that? It's just a new form of auto body art. I call it 'The Dented Swan.' It's avant-garde, you wouldn't understand.
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Car accidents are like surprise parties you never wanted to attend. "Surprise! Instead of cake, you get insurance claims and a headache! Hope you enjoy!
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Ever notice how everyone becomes a detective at the scene of a car accident? People start examining skid marks like they're analyzing crime scene evidence. "I've seen enough detective shows to know this was a classic case of 'accelerator and brake pedal confusion.'
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about having a clean driving record. It's the only competition where you're actively trying to avoid a high score. "Yeah, I've got a perfect record – no crashes, just a few close calls and one incident with a stubborn squirrel.
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Ever notice how after witnessing a car accident, everyone becomes a traffic expert? Suddenly, every onlooker has a PhD in trafficology. "Well, if they had just applied the Fibonacci sequence to their merging strategy, this whole thing could have been avoided!
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Car accidents are the real-life version of video game respawn points. "Oops, looks like I hit the reset button on my commute. Time to respawn and try not to crash into the same tree again.
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