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You ever notice how the concept of time travel is always so mind-boggling? I mean, I tried wrapping my head around it, but then I met this guy named Cal. Cal claims he's a time traveler, and I'm like, "Dude, if you're from the future, why didn't you bring back some lottery numbers?" Cal, being the time traveler he is, just shrugs and says, "I didn't want to mess up the timeline." I'm thinking, "Dude, you're worried about the timeline, and I can't even commit to weekend plans without stressing."
I asked him about the coolest thing he's seen in the future, and he goes, "Oh, flying cars and stuff." Flying cars? Really? I can't even trust people on regular roads; you want me to trust them in the sky?
I told Cal, "If you're gonna be a time traveler, at least bring back something useful. Like, tell me if my favorite sports team ever wins again or who ends up sitting on the Iron Throne. That's the kind of future knowledge I need!
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So, Cal, the time traveler, starts bragging about his homemade time machine. I'm thinking, "This I gotta see." He takes me to his garage, and it looks like Doc Brown and MacGyver had a love child in there. I'm like, "Cal, are you sure this thing works?" He goes, "Of course! I've traveled to the past and future multiple times." I look at the contraption, and it's held together with duct tape and a prayer. I'm not trusting my existence to that.
I ask him, "What if something goes wrong? What if you accidentally end up in the middle of a dinosaur stampede?" Cal looks me dead in the eyes and says, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."
I'm over here afraid to use a public restroom, and Cal's out there tempting fate with prehistoric creatures. Maybe I'll stick to my regular mode of transportation – the good old reliable car.
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You know, I realized that being a time traveler comes with its own set of rules. Cal starts lecturing me about time travel etiquette. He says, "You can't change anything in the past; it might alter the present." I'm like, "So, I can't even step on a butterfly?" Cal looks at me like I just suggested robbing a bank and goes, "Exactly! The butterfly effect is real."
I'm thinking, "If I can't step on a butterfly, how am I supposed to avoid that Lego I stepped on last night in the dark?" Time travel sounds more like tiptoeing through history, and I'm not sure I'm cut out for that.
I told Cal, "You go worry about your timelines; I'll be here trying not to change the course of history every time I decide what to have for breakfast.
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So, I decided to start a support group for time travelers. I figured they need a safe space to share their experiences. First meeting, Cal walks in and says, "I'm Cal, and I'm a time traveler." The group goes, "Hi, Cal." It's like a scene from a sci-fi version of Alcoholics Anonymous. Cal starts talking about the struggles of living in a world where everyone is stuck in their own time, and I'm like, "Dude, we're all stuck in the same timeline, you're not that special."
We had one guy who claimed he went back to the '80s and accidentally invented the mullet. Another guy said he traveled to the future and brought back fashion tips – turns out, we all start wearing aluminum foil hats.
I told them about Cal's DIY time machine, and they all agreed it was a disaster waiting to happen. We're a support group trying to prevent time-travel-related disasters, one questionable invention at a time.
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