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Why did the mathematician throw his clock out the window? To see time fly and do some cal-culations in the air!
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Why did the calculator break up with the abacus? It couldn't handle its commitment to cal-culations.
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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild Friday night is organizing your spice rack. Thanks, Cal, for turning us into spice warriors.
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Cal believes in karma, but his version is that if you eat a salad, the universe owes you a pizza. It's the circle of life, covered in cheese.
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Cal, the only person who thinks 'Netflix and chill' involves calculating the hypotenuse of the remote control.
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Cal's fitness routine is so unique; he calls it 'Cardio Cinema.' It involves watching action movies while lying on the couch and occasionally flexing a finger to hit 'next episode.'
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Cal's idea of multitasking is watching a cooking show and ordering takeout at the same time. Efficiency level: culinary genius.
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Cal tried to impress us with his eco-friendly lifestyle, but I caught him whispering sweet nothings to his compost bin. Romance in the recycling.
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Cal's idea of a thrilling adventure is trying a new toothpaste flavor. Minty fresh, the adrenaline rush is real!
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Cal claims to have a photographic memory, but it's more like a Polaroid from the '90s – takes a while to develop, and you're never sure if the picture will turn out right.
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I asked Cal for the secret to a successful diet, and he said, 'Just chew each bite 32 times.' I didn't realize I signed up for a mastication marathon.
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