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Diane's Editor
Trying to edit Diane's articles about existential crises and societal issues
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Diane wrote an article about the meaning of life. I asked her if she found the answer. She said, 'No, but I got a lot of likes on Twitter.' I guess social media is the new philosophy.
Mr. Peanutbutter's Marriage Counselor
Trying to keep up with Mr. Peanutbutter's boundless enthusiasm and short attention span
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Mr. Peanutbutter wanted tips for a successful marriage. I said, 'Remember important dates.' Now he thinks memorizing the release dates of all Disney movies is the key to a happy marriage.
Todd's Roommate
Living with the perpetually lazy and clueless Todd
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Todd wanted to redecorate our place. I came home to find he'd turned our living room into a giant ball pit. It's like living with a man-child, except the child has a beard.
Princess Carolyn's Assistant
Juggling a thousand tasks while dealing with Princess Carolyn's high-maintenance demands
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Princess Carolyn told me she needed someone who can handle stress. I said, 'Well, I haven't quit yet, so I guess I qualify.'
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