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I tried to organize my life like a Billy Graham sermon once – full of passion, conviction, and a choir of supportive friends. Turns out, my friends are more of a backup dancer kind of crowd.
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Billy Graham was known for bringing people together. I tried the same at a grocery store by starting a spontaneous sermon in the cereal aisle. Let's just say, not everyone appreciated the spiritual awakening between the Frosted Flakes and Cheerios.
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I was watching a Billy Graham sermon the other day, and I thought, "This guy could make a fortune selling energy drinks!" Imagine him on the can: "Billy Graham's Divine Dynamo – Gives your soul a heavenly jolt!
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You know you're getting old when you start confusing Billy Graham with Instagram. One's all about salvation, the other's all about validation. #HolyFilters
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I think Billy Graham missed a lucrative opportunity by not having a line of inspirational greeting cards. Can you imagine getting a birthday card that says, "May your year be as blessed as a Billy Graham sermon"?
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Billy Graham's sermons were so captivating; even my Wi-Fi connection started praising the Lord. I've never seen three bars on my phone so spiritually fulfilled.
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You ever notice how Billy Graham always had that intense stare during his sermons? I tried doing that in a job interview once, and they politely asked me to leave. Turns out, preaching isn't a desired skill at the IT department.
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Billy Graham had this incredible ability to connect with people. I tried the same at a family reunion, but my cousin just asked if I could pass the mashed potatoes instead of delivering a sermon on the importance of family unity.
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Billy Graham had that calming voice that could soothe your soul. I tried using his voice to order at a drive-thru, and they thought I was trying to bless the McChicken.
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