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Taking a selfie with big glasses is an extreme sport. You've got to find the right angle, avoid glare, and make sure you don't blind yourself with the flash reflecting off those lenses. It's like a high-stakes game of photographic chess. And then there's the issue of fitting your face into the frame. It's a real challenge; you either cut off half your head or have to perform some contortionist move to get everything in. By the time you're done, you look like you've been through a yoga session designed by a smartphone.
But the worst part? Trying to find a filter that works with those massive glasses. I tried the "cool shades" filter once, and I ended up looking like I was wearing a windshield on my face. Forget about puppy ears or flower crowns; I just want a filter that makes my glasses look smaller. Is that too much to ask?
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You ever notice how some people wear those huge, oversized glasses? I mean, are they trying to see into the future or just desperately avoiding any form of eye contact? It's like they're wearing windshield wipers on their face! And don't get me started on the practicality of it. You can't even give them a friendly hug without worrying about poking your eye out. It's like hugging a human porcupine, but instead of quills, it's just a bunch of giant frames.
I tried wearing big glasses once. I walked into a room, and everyone thought I was trying to impersonate a fly. The worst part is trying to find a stylish pair. I went to the store, and the glasses were so big; I thought I accidentally stumbled into the magnifying glass section. I was expecting to find Sherlock Holmes solving crimes among the frames.
And you know what they say about big glasses, right? "The bigger the glasses, the closer to the optometrist.
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You ever sit behind someone with enormous glasses at the movies? It's like watching a 3D movie without the glasses. The whole time, I'm trying to see around this human IMAX screen in front of me. I paid for a ticket, not a front-row seat to the optometrist's annual film festival. And they always pick the most inconvenient times to adjust their glasses. Right in the middle of the climactic scene, they decide it's the perfect moment for a glasses reenactment of the "Titanic" sinking. Meanwhile, I'm sinking into my seat, trying to catch a glimpse of the movie.
I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I've seen a movie through the distorted lens of someone else's eyewear, I could afford a private screening with prescription glasses for everyone.
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I'm convinced that people who wear those gigantic glasses are hiding something. I mean, how do we know there's not a secret society of big glasses wearers plotting to take over the world? They're probably holding meetings in some underground lair, discussing plans to blind us all with the reflection off their lenses. And have you noticed they always tilt their heads down when they look at you? It's like they're trying to read your mind through the bottom of their Coke-bottle glasses. I met one of them at a party, and I swear they were checking my credit score through their bifocals.
I tried to infiltrate their group once, wore the biggest glasses I could find. Turns out, they have a secret handshake that involves adjusting your frames every 30 seconds. I felt like I was auditioning for a part in a hipster remake of "Men in Black.
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