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Bartender
Dealing with rowdy customers in a bar fight
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It's funny how people transform during a bar fight. One minute they're sipping a cocktail, and the next, they're swinging from the chandelier like it's a jungle gym. I always thought bar fights were about shots, not gymnastics.
Bouncer
Trying to break up a bar fight without getting hurt
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The key to breaking up a bar fight is staying calm. I've developed a technique – I call it the "Hug and Evacuate." You just wrap your arms around the combatants and shuffle towards the exit, hoping they're too confused to notice they're being ejected.
Regular Customer
Trying to enjoy a quiet drink when a bar fight breaks out
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I tried to diffuse the tension during the fight by yelling, "Guys, there's a discount on shots at the other bar!" Surprisingly, it worked – they all ran towards the exit, but I missed my chance to specify it was a non-alcoholic shot special.
The Shy Guy
Being an introvert caught in the middle of a bar fight
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I tried to break up the fight by yelling, "Can't we all just get along?" Someone replied, "Get along? This is a bar fight, not group therapy!" I guess they're not fans of conflict resolution.
The Drunk Philosopher
Reflecting on the profound meaning of bar fights
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In the midst of a bar fight, I had an epiphany – life is just a series of bar fights. You're either throwing punches or dodging them, and the only difference is whether you're holding a beer or a grudge.
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