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I don't understand people who treat the gas pedal like a hot potato. It's not a game; you won't win a prize for lifting your foot off it faster than everyone else.
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I followed a driver who took "rolling stop" to a whole new level. It was more like a slow-motion pause, as if they were reenacting a dramatic scene from a movie every time they approached a stop sign.
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I was stuck behind a driver going so slow the other day; I'm pretty sure I aged a year waiting for them to realize the speed limit is not just a suggestion.
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I was behind a driver the other day who was so bad, I'm pretty sure their GPS was just an old treasure map with an "X" marking the spot where they were supposed to turn.
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Have you ever been tailgated by someone who clearly thinks they're in the Indy 500? I'm just over here thinking, "Buddy, the only trophy you're getting is for the world's most aggressive carpooler.
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I was driving behind someone who was so lost; I'm pretty sure they were using their turn signals as a Morse code distress signal. I wanted to roll down my window and shout, "S-O-S, not A-S-A-P!
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You ever follow someone who changes lanes more than they change their mind? I'm just trying to get to work, not participate in the freeway rendition of musical chairs.
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You ever notice how some people drive like they're playing a real-life game of Mario Kart? I'm just waiting for them to throw a banana peel out the window and shout, "It's-a me, Mario!
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I think I found the world's first reverse-valet the other day. This guy handed me the keys and said, "Good luck, I couldn't find a spot anywhere!
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