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I'm friends with all electricians. We have such good current connections.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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I bought a pair of shoes labeled perfect for all occasions. So, I wore them to the beach, and let's just say, the tide had a different opinion on what's suitable for sandy situations. I guess they're more all occasions except beach parties shoes.
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I recently got a card that said, For all occasions. I thought, great, I can finally send a sympathy card when my Wi-Fi goes down. I'm sorry for your loss... of signal strength.
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I got a watch that claims to be suitable for all occasions. So, I wore it to my friend's wedding, and it decided that the perfect occasion to stop ticking was during the I do part. It turns out, my watch objects to commitment.
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You know, my calendar says all occasions, but I'm still waiting for the party where it's socially acceptable to show up in pajamas, eat cake for dinner, and leave early without anyone judging me. I guess that occasion is called Tuesday at my place.
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I received a cookbook labeled recipes for all occasions. I tried making a romantic dinner, but the smoke alarm thought it was a disaster movie. Apparently, burnt spaghetti isn't the key to anyone's heart.
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I bought a bottle of wine that said, perfect for all occasions. Apparently, all occasions doesn't include job interviews. Who knew they frown upon wine stains on résumés?
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I tried using a greeting card labeled for all occasions to apologize for forgetting someone's birthday. It turns out, all occasions doesn't include the day you were born. I guess it's more of a most occasions card.
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I purchased a plant that's supposed to be suitable for all occasions. I guess they didn't consider my legendary ability to kill even the most resilient of succulents. Apparently, they weren't prepared for the occasional neglect category.
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I got an invitation that said dress for all occasions. So, I showed up in my superhero costume. Turns out, it wasn't that kind of costume party. But hey, I did save the day when the dip ran out.
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