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I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.' It's like looking for my glasses and realizing they're on my head.
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I'm not saying I'm old, but I remember when emojis were called hieroglyphics.
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I asked my grandpa, 'Are you going to take a nap?' He said, 'No, I'm just changing the channel.
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I asked my son if I was a procrastinator. He said, 'I'll tell you later.' Must run in the family!
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I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, 'Sure, knock yourself out.
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