4 A 7 Year Old Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Apr 12 2025

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Let me tell you, negotiating with a 7-year-old is like trying to outsmart a master chess player who's also a professional negotiator. I tried to get this kid to eat their veggies, and they hit me with the classic negotiating tactic – the stare down. You know the one; it's the look they give you that says, "I will sit here until these peas magically turn into ice cream." Honestly, at that point, I'm ready to throw in the towel and declare them the winner of Veggie Negotiation 101.
Ever tried cooking for a 7-year-old food critic? It's like being on a reality cooking show where the judge is this pint-sized Gordon Ramsay. I made them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and they looked at me like I just served them a gourmet meal made from alien ingredients. "What is this, Chef Boyardee?" they said. I didn't know PB&J had such high culinary standards. Next time, I'll present it with a side of juice in a sippy cup for that extra touch of sophistication.
You ever have a conversation with a 7-year-old? It's like talking to a tiny philosopher who just learned to tie their shoes. The other day, I'm chatting with this 7-year-old, and they hit me with some deep stuff. I asked, "What's the meaning of life?" and they said, "Well, obviously, it's not broccoli." That's some next-level existential thinking right there. Forget Socrates; we've got a new guru in town, and their name is Timmy.
Kids these days are like tiny life coaches. I asked a 7-year-old for advice, and they told me, "If you drop ice cream on the floor, just pick it up really fast, and it's still good to eat." Now, that's the kind of wisdom you can't find in self-help books. Forget about mindfulness and meditation; just master the art of the 3-second rule. It's not just a rule; it's a way of life.

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