bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Why did the 40-year-old refuse to run a marathon? They realized it's just a 26-mile long midlife crisis!
0
0
Why do 40-year-olds make great storytellers? Because they have enough 'back in my day' stories to fill a library!
0
0
Why don't 40-year-olds play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your knees creak!
0
0
Why do 40-year-olds never get lost? Because by that age, they've collected enough 'lost' items to fill a museum!
0
0
Why don't 40-year-olds trust stairs? Because they're always up to something!
0
0
Why was the math book sad on its 40th birthday? Because it had too many problems!
The Battle of the Bulge... Around the Middle
0
0
At 40, my metabolism is on vacation, and my belly decided to set up camp. I tried a new workout routine: lifting the remote to change channels. My six-pack is hiding somewhere underneath the keg I've been cultivating since my twenties. Turns out, the only thing getting a workout is my refrigerator door.
Fountain of Youth or Fountain of Truth?
0
0
They say 40 is the new 30. Well, if that's true, I'd like to know where they're hiding the fountain of youth because all I've found is a stream of inconvenient truths. At this age, my idea of a wild Friday night is scrolling through Netflix and pretending I might watch something other than my usual sitcom reruns.
When You're 40, Every Day Is a Midlife Crisis
0
0
I recently bought a sports car because I heard it was the thing to do at 40. The only problem is, it's a minivan with a racing stripe. I figured if I can't outrun my midlife crisis, I might as well have extra cup holders for my existential coffee.
Life at 40: A Choose-Your-Adventure Book with No Good Options
0
0
Turning 40 is like playing a game where you choose between bad option A and worse option B. Do you want a receding hairline or expanding waistline? And don't get me started on those over 40 health checklists. Apparently, my body is a used car, and the warranty just expired.
The 40-Year-Old's Guide to Socializing: Just Bring Snacks
0
0
As you hit 40, socializing becomes a complicated affair. Do I want to go out and make small talk or stay home and order pizza? Decisions, decisions. I've reached an age where I judge the success of a party not by the guest list but by the snack table. At 40, the real party is wherever the food is.
The Joy of Forgetting
0
0
At 40, my memory is so bad that even my password has amnesia. I recently found a list I made of things to remember, and the top item was Find the list. If forgetting things was an Olympic sport, I'd be a gold medalist. I even forgot the word for forget.
The Real MVPs: Coffee and Stretchy Pants
0
0
Turning 40 is realizing that coffee is a necessity, not a luxury. My daily goal is to drink enough coffee to jump-start not only my day but also my internal organs. And don't underestimate the power of stretchy pants; they're not just for comfort; they're a lifestyle.
Middle-Aged Wisdom: You Can't Pull All-Nighters Anymore
0
0
When you hit 40, staying up past midnight is like attempting a triathlon. I used to be a night owl, but now I'm more of a morning sparrow. By 10 p.m., I'm in bed with a cup of chamomile tea, trying to outsmart insomnia. My idea of a crazy night is leaving the house without my reading glasses.
Growing Up: From 'Wish Upon a Star' to 'Wish Upon a Comfortable Mattress'
0
0
At 40, my idea of a magical evening is when I can go to bed early without any interruptions. I used to wish upon a star; now I wish for an orthopedic pillow. The only shooting star I've seen lately was the one that streaked across the sky while I was checking my email.
Over the Hill but Still Climbing
0
0
You know you're getting old when you bend down to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. At 40, I've reached the age where my back goes out more often than I do. Last time I tried to touch my toes, I asked them, Hey, remember when we used to be friends?
Post a Comment