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You know you're getting old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. Suddenly, it's a whole yoga session just to get ready for the day. At 40, my morning routine has turned into a fitness program I never signed up for!
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Remember when staying up until midnight was a rebellion against bedtime? Now, at 40, staying up until midnight is a rebellion against the urge to fall asleep at 9. It's a battle between insomnia and responsibility, and responsibility is winning... with a pillow.
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At 40, I've become a master of the "dad joke." I used to roll my eyes at them, but now I find myself dropping puns and one-liners like it's a secret language only middle-aged people understand. It's not a phase; it's a dadvolution.
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Turning 40 is like having a GPS for your body. It's constantly recalculating the route, and you're never quite sure if you're on the fastest path or just taking the scenic route to joint pain and midlife crisis.
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Turning 40 is like upgrading from regular cable to the deluxe package. Suddenly, you have all these new channels – back pain channel, responsibility network, and of course, the "I can't eat that without consequences" channel. It's a whole new world of programming, folks.
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You know you're in your 40s when "getting lucky" means finding a parking spot right in front of the grocery store. Forget about romantic encounters; I'm just looking for convenience and proximity to the frozen food aisle.
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They say life begins at 40, but for me, it feels more like life handed me a brochure for a timeshare in responsibilities. Suddenly, I have a mortgage on my youth, and the interest rate is skyrocketing.
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You know you're 40 when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. Forget luxury cars; I'm cruising through the domestic aisle, checking out the latest in absorbent technology. It's the little things that make middle age thrilling.
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At 40, my idea of a wild Friday night is debating whether to floss before or after brushing my teeth. It's not about parties anymore; it's about plaque prevention. The only shots I'm taking now are flu shots.
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