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You know you're an adult in 2018 when your idea of a wild Friday night involves conquering the laundry mountain. The only club I'm hitting up is the "Spin Cycle Lounge," where the hottest item is a perfectly folded towel.
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In 2018, I attempted to be eco-friendly by using reusable grocery bags. Now, I have a collection of them under my sink, multiplying like rabbits. I call it my unintentional bag farm. I'm not saving the planet; I'm unintentionally starting a bag empire.
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You ever clean your entire house, and for a brief moment, you feel like you have your life together? Yeah, that feeling lasted until I realized my fridge was still filled with expired mysteries. 2018 was the year I discovered food can have a retirement plan.
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Remember how in 2018, minimalism was the trend? People were like, "Less is more." I tried that in my wardrobe. Now I have less clothing, and my mom says I look like I'm auditioning for a reality show about surviving laundry disasters.
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In 2018, they said cleaning is therapeutic. Whoever came up with that never tried to untangle a bunch of charging cables. It's like trying to solve a high-stakes puzzle while your phone is desperately clinging to its last 1%. I call it "The Unplugged Escape Room.
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In 2018, they said cleaning can be a workout. I tried incorporating squats into my vacuuming routine, and let me tell you, I've never had such a clean floor or sore thighs in my life. Who needs a gym when you have a Hoover?
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They say a cluttered space is a cluttered mind. Well, in 2018, my mind was an organized chaos. I could tell you exactly where that receipt from two years ago was, but don't ask me where I left my car keys five minutes ago.
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2018 was the year of "clean eating." I attempted it, but my definition of clean eating was managing to eat a burger without getting ketchup on my face. I call that a culinary victory.
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