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Now, let's talk about principles and technology. We live in a world where technology advances faster than my ability to understand it. I mean, I've got principles about technology. Like, "I won't buy a new phone until my current one has more cracks than a sidewalk." It's not about being principled; it's about being practical. And what's the deal with password principles? They say you should have a unique password for every account. I've got so many passwords; I need a password just to remember my passwords. I'm pretty sure even my computer is confused when I try to log in.
In conclusion, principles are like that friend who gives you advice but never takes it themselves. We all pretend to have it together, but deep down, we're just winging it. Maybe that should be my new principle: "Wing it and hope for the best.
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You ever notice how people talk about principles like they're the Holy Grail of decision-making? Like, "I live by my principles!" Well, I've got news for you—I once tried to live by the principle of never eating carbs after 6 PM. Lasted about as long as a snowflake in July. Principles are like those IKEA instructions—look straightforward at first, but the more you try to follow them, the more confused you get. I mean, I have principles, too. Like the principle of not eating the last slice of pizza. But, let's be real, if that last slice has been sitting there for more than 10 minutes, it's fair game. My principles have a short shelf life.
I think principles are just society's way of making us feel guilty for not being perfect. "Oh, you don't recycle your yogurt containers? What happened to your principles?" Well, my principle is to not have my yogurt sit in the fridge for so long that it starts its own science experiment.
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Workplaces love throwing around principles, too. They have mission statements, values, and principles posted on the wall. It's like they're trying to brainwash us into thinking we're part of a secret organization with a code of ethics. Meanwhile, we're just trying to figure out who keeps stealing our lunch from the fridge. There's always that one guy who takes the workplace principles way too seriously. You know the type—the guy who sends out emails reminding everyone to follow the company dress code. Dude, we're a tech startup, not a funeral procession.
I tried to live by the workplace principle of "Work-Life Balance." Turns out, the scale is always tipped in favor of work. They should call it "Work-Slightly-Less-Than-Before Balance.
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Let's talk about relationships and principles. They tell you that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Well, my girlfriend communicates by leaving Post-it notes on the fridge. Last week, she left one that said, "We need to talk." I thought I was in trouble. Turns out, we just needed more milk. Relationship principles are like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. You think you've got it figured out, and then someone moves a piece, and suddenly everything is messed up. And don't get me started on the principle of compromise. That's just a fancy word for both people being equally unhappy.
I tried introducing the principle of "Let's take turns picking movies." Yeah, that lasted until I suggested a documentary on the history of staplers. Compromise, my friends, compromise.
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