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Let's talk about the clicker. That magical wand of authority in a presentation. The person holding the clicker is basically the Gandalf of the meeting room, deciding when to unleash the next slide and when to cast PowerPoint spells upon the audience. But there's always that one person who abuses the power of the clicker. They go through slides faster than a kid with ADHD playing a video game. It's like a PowerPoint rave, and I'm just trying to keep up with the strobe lights of information.
And then there's the awkward silence when someone can't find the right slide. They click, and we wait. Click again, and we wait some more. It's like watching someone desperately search for their keys in a bag that seems to have no bottom.
I propose we give the clicker to the audience. Let democracy decide the fate of the slides. Imagine a world where we vote on whether to skip the financial projections and go straight to the cat memes. Now that's a presentation I'd attend with enthusiasm.
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You ever notice how every office thinks they've reinvented the wheel when it comes to presentations? Like, they act as if they've discovered a secret ancient scroll on how to captivate an audience with PowerPoint. I mean, the only thing they've discovered is how to put people to sleep faster than a lullaby. I had a presentation the other day, and I swear, it was like a horror movie. The lights dimmed, the projector flickered to life, and suddenly I was trapped in a room with 50 slides of mind-numbing graphs and charts. It was like being held hostage by Excel. I tried to escape through the exit, but it was blocked by a bar chart.
And don't get me started on the presenter's monotone voice. It was like they were trying to hypnotize us into a coma. I was waiting for them to say, "You are getting very sleepy, and also very disinterested in this quarterly report."
I think they need to spice up these presentations a bit. Maybe throw in a dance number or a magic trick between slides. Imagine a pie chart turning into an actual pie. Now that's a presentation I would attend willingly.
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You ever notice how presenters use bullet points like they're on a mission to assassinate your attention span? It's like they're saying, "Look, we have 50 things to tell you, but we'll make it easy. Just read these tiny, soul-crushing bullets." And why do they always read the bullet points aloud? I'm not illiterate; I can read. It's like having a narrator for a silent movie. "And here comes the next point, ladies and gentlemen. Brace yourselves for impact."
And don't get me started on the font size. They say size doesn't matter, but when it comes to fonts in presentations, it's everything. If I need a microscope to read your text, it's not a presentation; it's a vision test.
I want to start a presentation rebellion. No more bullet points, no more tiny fonts. Let's bring back the art of storytelling. I want to see a presentation that begins with, "Once upon a time in a cubicle far, far away...
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Have you ever noticed how everyone in the office becomes a PowerPoint expert when it's time for a presentation? It's like they morph into PowerPoint Rangers, ready to save the day with their mighty bullet points and laser-like focus on irrelevant details. I had a colleague who thought they were a design genius because they used gradient backgrounds and 3D transitions. I felt like I was in a time machine going back to the '90s. It's not a presentation; it's a trip down memory lane.
And let's talk about those clip arts. Who still uses clip arts in 2023? My boss inserted a thumbs-up clip art after every successful quarter. I'm waiting for the day we get a thumbs-down clip art when things go south. It's like PowerPoint is the kindergarten of business communication.
I wish we could be honest in presentations. Just once, I want someone to put up a slide that says, "We have no idea what we're doing, but here's a cute cat video to distract you.
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