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Can we talk about the pointer in presentations? It's like a magic wand for adults. You wave it around, and suddenly everyone is under your spell, pretending they care about quarterly reports. I tried it at home once, but my dog just looked at me like, "What kind of lame wizard are you?
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PowerPoint slides are like the overeager friend who won't let you finish your sentences. You start talking about market trends, and suddenly, "Next slide, please!" I'm like, "Hold on, I was about to make a groundbreaking point about office snacks being too tempting.
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Have you ever been so engrossed in a presentation that you start clapping for the slides transitioning? Like, "Bravo, Slide 27! You really knew how to make those bullet points pop. Encore! Encore!
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You ever notice how PowerPoint presentations are the only time in life when you actually wish someone would read aloud from the slides? Like, I'm sitting there, struggling to pay attention, and suddenly I'm like, "Please, just read it to me like I'm 5, Professor!
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I'm convinced that people who make presentations have a secret society. They must gather in dimly lit rooms and discuss the art of pie charts and bar graphs. I imagine their initiation involves successfully presenting to a room full of toddlers without anyone throwing Cheerios.
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Why is it that in presentations, we act like the Q&A session is a surprise party? "Oh, look who decided to show up! Questions, you say? We've been waiting for you! Come on in, have some cake, and by cake, I mean answers that I'm making up on the spot.
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You ever notice that the fancier the presentation, the more likely it is that the Wi-Fi will betray you? It's like, "Welcome to our state-of-the-art conference room with high-tech audiovisuals. Oh, and the Wi-Fi password is 'WhyIsThisNotWorking.'
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Can we talk about laser pointers? What a power move! You're standing there, clicking away, and suddenly you're a futuristic orchestra conductor directing a symphony of data. I tried it once during a family dinner discussion, but now I'm not invited to those anymore.
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The worst part about presentations is when they end with, "Any final thoughts?" It's like they're asking you to summarize an entire hour of information in one sentence. "Yes, I've concluded that I need a coffee and a nap. Thank you for coming to my TED Sleep.
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