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Conspiracy Theorist Shopper
Believing every sale is a ploy to control your mind
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I saw a sign that said, "Clearance Sale - 50% off!" I immediately assumed they were trying to get rid of evidence. What are they hiding behind that discounted curtain? Area 51 merchandise?
Fitness Enthusiast with a Sweet Tooth
Balancing a love for desserts with the desire for a six-pack
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I signed up for a high-intensity workout class to burn off the calories from my chocolate addiction. The only thing I burned was my will to ever exercise again. Now I just call it "choco-lates of squats.
Overly Enthusiastic Pet Owner
Dealing with judgmental stares from the neighborhood cats
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I tried to teach my hamster a new trick. I spent hours, and finally, he did a somersault. I was so proud until I realized hamsters naturally roll when they're startled. I basically trained him to be scared of me.
Office Lunchroom Expert
Trying to impress colleagues with questionable culinary skills
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I proudly presented my homemade soup to my coworkers. They asked what kind it was. I said, "Surprise!" They tried it and the surprise was that I couldn't identify half the ingredients myself.
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