bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
I've decided to liberate my platter. No more waiting for the perfect moment or a fancy event. I'm going to use it for everyday things. Breakfast in bed? Platter. Netflix marathon? Platter. I'll serve my morning cereal on that thing, and you know what? I'll feel like a breakfast monarch. Let's take back the platter! No more judgment, no more waiting for special occasions. If I want to eat popcorn off a platter while watching reality TV, I will, and I'll do it with pride. The platter has been locked up in the cabinet for too long. It's time to let it shine, even if it's just illuminating my midnight snacks.
0
0
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about the most mysterious thing in my kitchen – the platter. You know, that one fancy dish you have but never use. It's like the superhero of the kitchenware world, only showing up when the situation is dire. I look at it sometimes, and it's like, "When was the last time I had a platter-worthy event in my life? Was it my cat's birthday? Do cats even like platters?" And don't even get me started on the word "platter." It sounds like something a medieval knight would wear into battle, not a piece of serving ware. I feel like I should be jousting with my chicken wings or something. But no, it just sits there, waiting for its moment to shine, like it's auditioning for a cooking show it will never be on.
0
0
You ever notice that when you finally decide to use the platter, it's like assembling the Avengers? You're going through your cabinets, trying to find all the matching pieces – the little bowls, the tiny spoons – and you start wondering if the platter has a secret society with its own secret handshake. I'm convinced my platter is judging me for not being sophisticated enough to host a soirée every weekend. And then there's the paranoia of presenting the food on the platter. It's like I'm trying to impress the food itself. "Look at you, Mr. Pizza Rolls, living your best life on this elegant surface." It's a delicate operation, like performing surgery on a turkey, and the platter is my surgical table. But honestly, most of the time, the food probably thinks, "What is this? I was happy in the delivery box. Put me back.
0
0
You ever feel like the platter is silently judging you when you put your food on it? Like it's disappointed in your culinary choices. I put a bag of chips on there once, and I swear the platter looked at me like, "Really? You couldn't at least make some artisanal dip to go with these? Do you even know what a shallot is?" And then there's the size issue. Platters are always so big and grandiose, and I'm over here with my single cheese slice trying not to let it drown in the sea of porcelain. It's like serving a hot dog on a red carpet. I feel like the platter is saying, "This is beneath me, but I'll play along for now.
Post a Comment