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Why do pigeons make terrible bankers? They're always 'coo'-ing over their customers!
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What do you get when you cross a pigeon with a parrot? A bird that says, 'Polly wants some seed!'
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Why did the pigeon bring a suitcase to the park? It was ready for a 'fly'-cation!
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Why did the pigeon bring string to the party? In case it wanted to 'tie the coo!'
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Why do we call them 'rats with wings'? I mean, I've never seen a rat organize a flash mob in the park. Pigeons are like the Broadway producers of the animal kingdom—always putting on a show, usually involving crumbs.
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Pigeons, the only creatures with a 9-to-5 job in the city. They're the original early birds, but instead of catching the worm, they're catching your sandwich when you're not looking.
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I think pigeons have a secret society. You ever accidentally make eye contact with one, and suddenly they all gather around, exchanging coos like they're planning world domination? I swear, the Illumi-coo-ti is a real thing.
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Pigeons are the only birds that can make eating off the ground look sophisticated. They peck at breadcrumbs like they're at a five-star restaurant, critiquing the texture of the pavement-aged ciabatta.
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Pigeons are like the city's unofficial therapists. You can sit on a park bench, spill your deepest secrets, and they'll just coo at you like they understand. It's like a cheap therapy session, with added feathers.
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Pigeons are the true influencers of the city. They hang out in parks, posing for photoshoots, hoping to get featured on the next big Instagram page dedicated to urban wildlife. #FeatheredFashionIcon
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You ever notice how pigeons always look like they're late for a business meeting? They strut around like they've got places to be and important pigeon matters to attend to. I want whatever they're cooing about on their pigeon agenda.
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If you want to test your relationship, try having a romantic picnic in the park. Pigeons will turn it into a game of dodge-the-droppings. Nothing says 'I love you' like a well-timed pigeon bombing run.
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I think pigeons are in on the whole 'bird watching' trend. They see us with our binoculars, and they're probably rating us on Yelp. 'Five stars for this human, very entertaining as they fumble with their sandwich.'
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