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The Awkward Flirter
The battle between shyness and the desire to make a connection
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I tried to be charming by saying, "If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber." They replied, "I'm actually more of a broccoli person." Yeah, apparently, my jokes aren't even in the right food group.
The Witty Observer
Observing pickup attempts while making clever remarks
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I overheard a pickup attempt that went, "If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber." And the reply? "Well, if you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple." Looks like we've got a produce aisle romance budding over here.
The Overzealous Dater
Overenthusiasm leading to over-the-top or cringeworthy attempts at a pickup
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I tried to be bold and said, "I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you." They said, "Snowflakes melt." Turns out, so does my confidence when faced with reality.
The Smooth Operator
The struggle between confidence and awkwardness in a pickup situation
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I attempted to impress someone by saying, "Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for." And they said, "Are you asking for directions?" Yeah, they thought I was lost, but to be honest, I was lost in my attempts at smoothness.
The Casual Conversationalist
Balancing casual conversation with subtle attempts at a pickup
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I tried to strike up a conversation with, "Hey, do you like Star Wars?" They replied, "Never seen it." And just like that, my hopes of discussing lightsabers and love interests in a galaxy far, far away vanished.
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