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Why did the smartphone go to school? It wanted to improve its cell-f esteem!
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Why did the smartphone join a band? It wanted to be in sync with the latest beats!
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Why did the smartphone apply for a job? It wanted to answer the call of duty!
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Why did the iPhone go to therapy? It had too many issues with its 'cell'!
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Why did the smartphone break up with its charger? It needed space to recharge its love life!
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Why do we still answer calls from unknown numbers? It's like playing Russian Roulette with conversation. 'Hello, is this the IRS?' No, this is the regret department.
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I have a special ringtone for telemarketers—it's the sound of a toilet flushing. They're invading my personal space, so I'm just helping them find the right place for their pitch.
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I've mastered the art of sounding productive during work conference calls. I'm on mute, pretending to take detailed notes, but in reality, I'm solving world mysteries like, 'Why do they call it a building if it's already built?'
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I'm convinced that phone companies secretly include a 'Confuse the User' feature. You press one wrong button, and suddenly you're ordering a pizza from the president. 'Yes, I'd like a large pepperoni and some economic policies, please.'
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I miss the good old days when answering the phone meant excitement. Now it's just a game of 'Who's trying to sell me solar panels today?' Spoiler alert: it's everyone.
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I tried to impress someone with my cool ringtone, but it backfired. Now, every time my grandma calls, everyone thinks I'm a secret agent. 'Sorry, grandma, I can't reveal my mission, it's classified.'
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My voicemail greeting is so boring; I tried to listen to it once and fell asleep. I need to hire a hype man for my answering machine, like, 'Yo, leave a message, you're about to experience the most epic voicemail of your life!'
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Phone calls are like surprise exams for adults. You panic, forget everything, and hope it's over quickly. 'Hello' is just my way of saying, 'Please be multiple choice!'
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Phone calls are the only time it's socially acceptable to talk to yourself in public. 'Oh, don't mind me, just having a heated debate with my credit card company on aisle 5.'
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