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I read about a fear of long words called "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia." I mean, come on! The irony of giving a fear of long words a name longer than most words is just cruel. It's like they wanted to mess with people right from the diagnosis.
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Ever met someone with trypophobia? It's the fear of irregular patterns or clusters of small holes. I accidentally showed my friend with trypophobia a sponge, and suddenly I was the bad guy in a horror movie. Sorry for the sponge-induced trauma.
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You know you have thalassophobia when the mere thought of the ocean gives you the heebie-jeebies. My friend with thalassophobia said, "I'm scared of the deep sea." I told him, "Don't worry; most of us are. Have you seen the creatures down there? It's like Mother Nature was feeling particularly creative that day.
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I know someone who's afraid of clowns, a condition known as coulrophobia. I asked them if they could watch a circus without clowns, and they said, "Sure, as long as they replace the clowns with something less terrifying, like tax auditors or dental drills.
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Social phobia, or social anxiety disorder, is like having a personal paparazzi in your head, constantly judging your every move. I bet even your inner critic has anxiety about their performance anxiety.
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I've got a friend with agoraphobia, which is the fear of open spaces. They must've been the first person to invent online shopping. "I can't go outside, but hey, let me virtually stroll through the aisles of this website and panic about my credit card bill later.
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My neighbor has ornithophobia, the fear of birds. I discovered this when I innocently suggested we feed the pigeons in the park. Little did I know, I was proposing an expedition to the avian horror movie set, complete with feathered monsters and dramatic squawking.
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You ever notice how people with arachnophobia become Olympic-level sprinters when they see a tiny spider? I mean, Usain Bolt would be proud. Forget running on a track; these folks should compete in the 100-meter "I-just-saw-a-spider" dash.
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I know someone with nomophobia – the fear of being without a mobile phone. I suggested they try a digital detox, and they looked at me like I suggested wrestling a lion for fun. "No phone for a day? Might as well ask me to live on Mars.
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