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Dating with a personality disorder is like playing Russian roulette with emotions. You never know which version of me you're gonna get. I'll be all charming and witty one moment, and the next, I'm arguing with the waiter about the proper way to pronounce 'bruschetta.' It's a struggle. I tried online dating once, and my profile should have come with a disclaimer: "May contain multiple personalities. Swipe at your own risk." I mean, how do you explain to someone that you're not ghosting them; it's just that your alter ego decided it's a Netflix and pajamas kind of night?
But on the bright side, I guess it's a built-in filter. If they can't handle my personalities, they definitely can't handle my extensive collection of cat memes.
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So, I've been going to therapy lately for this personality disorder thing. It's like having a personal trainer for your brain, except the weights are emotional baggage, and the treadmill is your childhood trauma. Therapists always want you to talk about your feelings. I'm like, "Can we talk about my feelings while I'm eating pizza, though?" It's a serious question. But hey, shoutout to therapists; they're the real MVPs. They listen to your problems all day and then send you a bill. It's like having a friend who charges you for being a good listener.
And then there's the classic therapist line, "How does that make you feel?" I'm thinking, "It makes me feel like I need a refund because I didn't sign up for an emotional rollercoaster when I walked in here.
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You ever hear about this thing called a personality disorder? Yeah, it's like having a roommate in your own head that you never signed up for. I swear, my alter ego and I are like an odd couple. I'll be there trying to plan my day, and he's just throwing a party in the background. I asked my therapist about it, and she said, "Well, it's a bit like having multiple personalities." I said, "Great! Does that mean I get multiple Netflix recommendations, too?" But seriously, it's tough. Sometimes I'll be all motivated to hit the gym, and then Mr. Lazy McLazyPants takes over, and suddenly I'm binge-watching a documentary on sloths.
Living with a personality disorder is like being in a constant game of musical chairs, but instead of chairs, it's your own thoughts, and the music never stops. I'm just waiting for the day my alter ego decides to take the mic at a karaoke bar. That's gonna be a show, let me tell you.
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You know, having a personality disorder might be a pain, but there are some perks. I never get bored; it's like having a whole circus in my head. I can entertain myself for hours. I've got my own stand-up comedy show going on up there, complete with a laugh track. And when life gives you lemons, I've got a whole lineup of lemonade recipes, each with its own flair. I'm like a mixologist of emotions. Who needs a therapist when you've got a front-row seat to the greatest show on earth – the one inside your own mind?
So, shoutout to my personality disorder for keeping life interesting. It's like having a surprise party every day, even if I'm the only one who RSVPs. Cheers to being extra in the most unique way possible!
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