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Penn State has more statues than a history museum. Every corner you turn, there's another bronze figure staring at you. I'm just waiting for the day they replace the campus tour guides with talking statues – "To your left, you'll see a statue of someone important, probably.
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Penn State has more squirrels than students. I saw a squirrel there with a backpack and a tiny university ID. I asked him for directions, and he just scurried away, probably late for his nut economics class.
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Going to Penn State is like preparing for a marathon. I parked my car so far away that by the time I reached my class, I had already burned enough calories to justify a second breakfast. Forget the freshman 15, it's the Penn State parking lot workout plan.
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The squirrels at Penn State are so confident, they don't even move when you approach. It's like they're saying, "This is our campus, we just let you humans use it." I tried to impress one by doing a dance, but he just stared at me like, "Dude, that's so last semester.
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You ever notice how Penn State is like a giant maze? I went there for a visit, and I swear I needed a map just to find the bathroom. I accidentally stumbled into a physics lecture. Turns out, quantum mechanics wasn't what I had in mind when I was looking for the cafeteria.
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You know you're at Penn State when the campus squirrels have better Wi-Fi signals than your dorm room. I tried to connect to the university network, and the squirrel next to me was already streaming a movie in HD.
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Penn State students are like professional pedestrians. I've never seen people navigate crosswalks with such precision and determination. They could teach a masterclass in crossing the street while avoiding eye contact with drivers.
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They say Penn State has a football team, but I think the real competition is trying to find a quiet place to study during game day. It's like a library versus the roar of a thousand fans. Spoiler alert: the library loses.
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Penn State weather is a mystery. One day it's sunny, the next day it's snowing. I saw a student walking to class in shorts and a winter coat. I guess they're just preparing for any climate change scenario the professor might throw at them in class.
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