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I recently found out I have a friend with a peanut allergy. I offered him a peanut butter sandwich once, and he looked at me like I handed him a live grenade. I was just trying to spread some love, but apparently, that was a nutty idea.
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My friend told me he has a peanut allergy, and now I'm hyper-aware of everything I eat around him. The other day, I was enjoying a granola bar, and he looked at me like I was nibbling on a stick of dynamite. I had to assure him it was just oats and not a secret nut conspiracy.
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I asked my friend with a peanut allergy if he ever dreams about peanuts. He said, "No, but if I did, it would probably be a nightmare. Peanuts chasing me, peanut butter rivers, and a giant almond with a deep, menacing voice saying, 'You can't escape the nuts!'
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Peanut allergies have turned lunchtime into a survival game. It's not about enjoying your meal anymore; it's about making sure you don't accidentally turn your friend into a medical emergency. "No, I swear, these cookies are nut-free... unless you count my dad's questionable baking skills.
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Peanut allergies make dining out an adventure. You become a detective, interrogating the waiter about every ingredient in the dish. "Are there peanuts in the sauce? What about the garnish? Is the chef allergic to common sense?
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I have a friend who's so paranoid about peanut allergies that he treats his kitchen like a crime scene. He wears gloves, uses a separate cutting board, and treats peanut butter like it's toxic waste. I've never seen someone so afraid of a jar of Skippy.
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You know, having a peanut allergy is like playing culinary Russian roulette. You're sitting at a restaurant, and the waiter hands you the menu, and suddenly, you're scanning it like you're deciphering some ancient hieroglyphics. "Does this dish contain nuts? Will this dessert send me to an early exit from life's buffet?
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People with peanut allergies are like human lie detectors when it comes to food. You can't sneak a peanut into their meal without them detecting it. It's like they have a sixth sense for nuts – the nut-dar.
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I admire people with peanut allergies; they've mastered the art of reading ingredient labels faster than a detective solving a crime. They could probably find Waldo in a sea of nuts. "There he is, hiding behind the cashews!
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