4 Jokes For Pea Soup

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 25 2025

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You ever notice how pea soup infiltrates your life? You go to a restaurant, and you're thinking, "I'll have the tomato soup, please." But then the waiter says, "We're out of tomato, but we have pea soup." And you're like, "What kind of soup dictatorship is this?"
It's like pea soup has spies everywhere, infiltrating menus and taking over. You can't escape it. You try to order something else, and the waiter gives you that look like, "You can't escape the green revolution. Peas are taking over."
And then there are those potlucks where someone brings pea soup, and you're like, "Who invited the undercover agent?" You're just trying to enjoy your mac and cheese, and here comes pea soup, trying to convert everyone to the green side.
You ever notice how pea soup is the Sherlock Holmes of soups? I mean, it's like the detective of the soup world. You sit there, slurping it, and you're like, "Alright, pea soup, what are you hiding in there? Is that a pea or a tiny green spy trying to infiltrate my taste buds?"
And what's with the color? It's this murky green that makes you question your life choices. You look at it, and you're like, "Is this soup or the aftermath of a lawnmower accident?"
I tried making pea soup once, and it looked like the swamp from a low-budget horror movie. I'm in the kitchen, stirring it, thinking, "Am I summoning pea demons or making dinner?"
It's the only soup that doubles as a magic trick. You start with a clear broth, and then you add peas, and poof, it disappears into this green abyss. If Houdini were alive, he'd ditch the straightjacket and make a bowl of pea soup disappear.
Pea soup is like a relationship. Hear me out. It starts all warm and comforting, like, "Hey, I'm here for you." But then you realize it's clingy. It sticks to you like that ex who just won't let go. You eat it, and suddenly, you're in a committed relationship with pea soup.
And it's got these peas that are like relationship issues. You're slurping, and there's a pea, and you're like, "Oh, I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted a peaceful bowl of soup, not a therapy session."
And have you ever tried breaking up with pea soup? You're like, "It's not you, it's me," but it just keeps coming back, haunting your fridge. You open the door, and there it is, staring at you like, "We can make this work."
In the end, pea soup teaches us about commitment, resilience, and the fact that breaking up is hard to do, especially when peas are involved.
Can we talk about how pea soup is the fashionista of foods? It's always green, no matter what season it is. It doesn't care if it's winter, spring, or the apocalypse; it's staying green.
Other soups adapt. Chicken noodle is like, "Oh, it's fall? Let me put on my cozy sweater." But pea soup is like, "I don't care if it's a blizzard or a heatwave; I'm going green."
I imagine pea soup in a closet filled with shades of green, having a fashion crisis. "Is this shade too spring? Should I go for a darker, more autumnal green?" It's like the Lady Gaga of soups, refusing to follow any culinary trends.
And when you eat pea soup, it's like you're participating in a green-screen challenge. You take a spoonful, and suddenly you're on a tropical island, just you and your pea soup, living the dream.

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