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Why did the PE teacher bring a map to the gym? He wanted to show us the way to fitness!
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Why did the PE teacher bring a ladder to class? Because he wanted to take fitness to the next level!
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Why did the PE teacher break up with the calendar? It had too many dates!
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Why did the PE teacher go to therapy? He needed to work through his issues!
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Why did the PE teacher bring a pencil to class? To draw up a plan for our fitness success!
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Why did the PE teacher always carry a whistle? To stay in tune with the students' fitness symphony!
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Why did the PE teacher become a gardener? He wanted to help students grow stronger roots!
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Why did the PE teacher bring a fan to the gym? To stay cool under pressure!
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The PE teacher tried to motivate us by saying, 'You'll thank me later.' Well, it's later, and all I've got to show for it is an expired gym membership and a collection of untouched dumbbells. Thanks, but no thanks.
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I tried to impress my PE teacher with my flexibility. I did a backbend, and he said, 'That's great! Now try running a mile.' Apparently, yoga doesn't count as cardio. Who knew downward dog wouldn't prepare me for the uphill battle of a mile run?
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PE class was the only place where being picked last felt like winning the lottery. 'Oh, you don't want me on your team? Fantastic! I was hoping to spend quality time with the grass stains on my knees.'
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The PE teacher always said, 'No pain, no gain.' Well, I must be on the express train to 'I'd rather be lazy,' because my idea of a workout is lifting a bag of potato chips.
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You know you're in trouble when the PE teacher starts using math during the fitness test. 'If Johnny runs five miles and Sally swims two laps, how many push-ups does Timmy have to do to burn off that pizza he had for lunch?' I'm over here just trying to calculate the odds of me faking an injury.
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I asked my PE teacher for fitness advice, and he said, 'Exercise early in the morning; it jump-starts your metabolism.' So now I set my alarm for 5 AM, hit snooze until 10, and call it a metabolic masterpiece.
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I once asked my PE teacher for advice on getting ripped. He said, 'Muscles are like potatoes: you gotta mash them.' So now I'm sitting here wondering if he was talking about the gym or dinner. Either way, I'm not getting any stronger.
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PE class taught me the importance of teamwork. Like when you're paired with someone for a trust fall, and you both end up on the ground like a poorly executed magic trick. Team-building exercises, or as I like to call them, 'Let's see who can trip over their own feet first.'
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My PE teacher told me, 'You need to find your inner athlete.' I found it. It's sitting on the couch, watching Netflix, cheering on the professionals. I call it moral support for the sports world.
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