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In Overwatch, getting a loot box with something good is like finding money in your pocket. You didn't expect it, but suddenly you're the happiest person alive. And just like real life, most of the time, it's just a bunch of duplicates.
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Overwatch is like that one friend who insists on making plans but then cancels at the last minute. You're all set up for a great match, and suddenly Hanzo decides he's not in the mood and switches to Netflix.
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Have you noticed how the payload in Overwatch moves slower than a grandma in a grocery store? You're just pushing it along, hoping your team doesn't get distracted by the candy aisle (or enemy snipers).
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The wait time for an Overwatch match feels longer than waiting for your food at a drive-thru. You sit there, staring at the screen, contemplating life choices, and suddenly you're wondering if you should have just ordered takeout.
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Choosing a character in Overwatch is like picking a streaming service. You spend way too much time scrolling through options, and no matter what you choose, you'll probably end up binge-watching a play of the game.
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Overwatch has more characters than my last family reunion. And just like my family, there's always that one cousin who insists on playing Genji and attempting to deflect everything – even the blame for a lost match.
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You ever notice how playing Overwatch is a lot like ordering fast food? You're in a team, everyone has their roles, and you're desperately hoping the guy playing Reaper doesn't get cold feet and switch to salad at the last minute.
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Playing Overwatch with random teammates is like a blind date. You hope they're good, you try to communicate, and by the end of it, you're either celebrating a victory or silently wondering if you wasted your time.
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The communication in Overwatch is amazing. It's like a family dinner where everyone is talking, but no one is actually listening. "Healer, I need healing!" Yeah, well, Uncle Bob needs to stop talking about his golf swing.
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