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The Grocery Store Cashier
Juggling oranges and dealing with parrot-like customers
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A lady came through my line with a parrot on her shoulder, and I thought, 'Great, a shopping buddy!' Turns out, the parrot was more decisive than her. It would squawk 'No!' every time she picked up an orange. I'm just here, stuck in the middle of a fruit-based domestic dispute.
The Parrot Trainer at the Zoo
Training a parrot to imitate oranges for a fruit-themed zoo show
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We tried adding a touch of realism by having the parrots squawk out health facts about oranges. Turns out, people don't appreciate being lectured by birds. Now, my parrots are the nutritionists of the zoo, and I'm just the guy holding the microphone. I'm like the Dr. Phil of the aviary.
The Orange Farmer
Growing oranges while dealing with parrots stealing the crop
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These parrots are so clever; they've learned to mimic the sound of ripe oranges hitting the ground. It's like living in a fruity espionage movie. I'm out there, thinking I've got a bumper crop, but it's just a gang of parrots punking me. I need a scarecrow with a Ph.D. in ornithology.
The Orange Juice Barista
Making orange juice while dealing with parrot customers demanding a tropical experience
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I had a lady ask if I could serve her orange juice in a coconut shell because, apparently, that's the only acceptable vessel for a tropical experience. I tried explaining that coconuts and oranges are not from the same family, but she insisted. Now I'm the mixologist of misguided fruit fantasies.
The Stand-Up Comedian's Neighbor
Constantly hearing orange-related parrot jokes from the next-door comedian
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I asked my neighbor if he could tone down the orange and parrot jokes. He said, 'Sure, I'll try.' The next day, he showed up with an orange-colored parrot. Real subtle, buddy. Now even my dreams have a laugh track.
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