53 Jokes For On The Whole

Updated on: Mar 12 2025

cancel
Rating
Sort By:
Introduction:
In a small town named Clumsyville, renowned for its quirky inhabitants, there lived Mr. Henry Bumble, the clumsiest man in the whole of Clumsyville. One day, Mr. Bumble decided to embark on a mission: he aimed to walk from one end of town to the other without slipping on a banana peel. The entire town was buzzing with anticipation, for everyone knew that banana peels were as common in Clumsyville as the sun in the sky.
Main Event:
As Mr. Bumble confidently strode down Main Street, his eyes peeled for potential peel hazards, a mischievous group of teenagers decided to up the ante. Armed with an arsenal of banana peels, they strategically placed them along Mr. Bumble's path. Just as he reached the halfway point, disaster struck – or rather, slipped. Mr. Bumble's legs flailed in the air as he landed on a particularly slippery peel, sending him into an impromptu dance routine that would have rivaled any Broadway show.
Passersby gathered, some offering applause, others stifling laughter. Undeterred, Mr. Bumble attempted to regain his composure, only to slip on another strategically placed peel, turning the street into his own personal slapstick stage. The laughter echoed through Clumsyville as Mr. Bumble unwittingly became the star of the town's most entertaining sidewalk spectacle.
Conclusion:
In the end, as Mr. Bumble finally reached the other end of town, he couldn't help but acknowledge the absurdity of the situation. With a sheepish grin, he declared, "On the whole, it seems I've slipped my way to fame in Clumsyville!" Little did he know; the town council was already planning the first annual "Banana Boogie Festival" in his honor.
Introduction:
In the bustling city of Lightheartedburg, where the laws of physics were more of a suggestion than a rule, lived Professor Levity, an eccentric scientist known for his whimsical experiments. One day, he set out to defy gravity and create a world where people could walk on the ceiling for a change.
Main Event:
Professor Levity's laboratory buzzed with excitement as he unveiled his invention – a pair of anti-gravity boots. The citizens of Lightheartedburg eagerly strapped on the boots, ready to experience life from a whole new perspective. However, chaos ensued as people found themselves floating into doorframes, bumping into chandeliers, and accidentally rearranging furniture on the ceiling.
The city became a surreal playground of upside-down antics, with pedestrians navigating the streets like human-sized spiders. Laughter echoed through Lightheartedburg as impromptu dance parties erupted in mid-air, and street vendors struggled to keep their merchandise from floating away. The city's traffic control tower was in disarray as cars circled roundabouts in every direction, regardless of the laws of the road.
Conclusion:
As the sun set on Lightheartedburg, and the citizens descended back to the ground, Professor Levity stood amidst the gravitational aftermath. With a mischievous grin, he declared, "On the whole, it seems we've turned the city upside down, and I must say, life is much more amusing this way!" The citizens, though a bit disheveled, erupted in applause, grateful for the whimsical journey that briefly defied the laws of physics and brought laughter to Lightheartedburg.
Introduction:
In the seaside town of Quirktopia, renowned for its eccentric citizens, there lived Captain Blubberbeard, the most accident-prone pirate on the high seas. One day, he set out on a quest to catch the legendary Haddock of Hilarity, a fish rumored to possess a sense of humor that could rival the best stand-up comedians.
Main Event:
Armed with a fishing rod and a bucket of rubber chickens (his secret weapon to make the Haddock laugh), Captain Blubberbeard sailed into uncharted waters. The sea journey quickly turned into a chaotic comedy of errors, with Captain Blubberbeard accidentally tossing his fishing rod overboard and mistaking a seagull for the elusive Haddock.
Undeterred, he continued his pursuit, attempting to tell fishy jokes to every aquatic creature in his path. Soon, word spread among the sea creatures about the bumbling pirate on a quest for laughter. Schools of fish followed him, dolphins performed impromptu flips, and even the jellyfish seemed to be pulsating in laughter.
Conclusion:
After a series of comical misadventures, Captain Blubberbeard returned to Quirktopia empty-handed, his pirate hat askew and rubber chickens trailing behind. With a hearty laugh, he declared, "On the whole, it seems the Haddock of Hilarity outwitted even the wittiest pirate. But fear not, me hearties, for I've brought back a sea of laughter and a crew of fishy fans!" The town erupted in cheers, celebrating the joyous absurdity that Captain Blubberbeard had unintentionally brought to Quirktopia.
Introduction:
In the quaint village of Wittyburg, known for its love of wordplay and clever banter, lived Mr. Punderful, the punniest man around. One day, he decided to organize a pun competition to find the wittiest resident in all of Wittyburg. The competition drew participants from every corner of the village, each armed with their best puns.
Main Event:
The pun competition was fierce, with contestants punning their hearts out. Mr. Punderful, the esteemed judge, listened attentively, a gleam of amusement in his eyes. As the final round approached, it was clear that the competition had reached a whole new level. The puns were so intense that even the village's cats and dogs seemed to be rolling their eyes.
In a surprising turn of events, the last two contestants, a linguistics professor and a stand-up comedian, were neck and neck. The linguistics professor delivered a pun about grammar that had everyone nodding appreciatively, while the comedian countered with a punchline so hilarious it left the audience in stitches. Mr. Punderful scratched his head, torn between linguistic finesse and comedic brilliance.
Conclusion:
In a moment of inspiration, Mr. Punderful declared, "On the whole, I've decided to award them both the title of 'Pun Kings.' After all, a pun in the hand is worth two in the bush of humor!" The village erupted in laughter, and the linguistics professor and comedian shared a pun-filled victory hug, leaving Wittyburg on a literal high note.
You ever try to adult? It's a whole thing. They say you should approach life "on the whole." Well, as an adult, I have a whole lot of responsibilities, and my idea of "on the whole" is trying to remember where I put my car keys. I spend a whole lot of time retracing my steps like a detective in a really boring mystery novel.
And what's the deal with taxes? They want you to look at your finances "on the whole." But when I do, all I see is a whole lot of zeros and a whole lot of confusion. I tried doing my taxes once, and the whole experience felt like I was trying to solve a complex puzzle with missing pieces. And by the end of it, I'm pretty sure I just created a whole new tax code unintentionally.
So, on the whole, being an adult is like trying to juggle a whole lot of responsibilities while hoping you don't drop the ball—unless that ball is your dignity; I dropped that a long time ago.
You know, they say you should look at things "on the whole." Well, I tried that, and let me tell you, it's a whole lotta trouble! I mean, who came up with this whole concept of looking at everything as a whole? Did they not realize how complicated life is? I tried applying it to my laundry, and now all my socks are in a constant state of existential crisis because they can't figure out their place in the whole drawer!
And what's the deal with trying to see the world "on the whole"? I attempted to appreciate the beauty of nature, you know, take it all in. But have you ever tried to appreciate a whole forest when you're being chased by mosquitoes the size of helicopters? It's like trying to enjoy a sunset while being attacked by a swarm of tiny, bloodthirsty ninjas!
So, on the whole, I've decided that looking at things "on the whole" is just a recipe for a whole lotta confusion and a whole lotta mosquito bites!
You ever ask someone for relationship advice? They always say you should consider the relationship "on the whole." Well, I tried that, and let me tell you, it's a whole rollercoaster of emotions. Relationships are like onions; they have layers, and sometimes those layers make you cry.
And what's with the whole "communication is key" thing? I communicate with my partner so much; we practically have a telepathic connection. But somehow, when it comes to deciding what to have for dinner, that telepathy disappears, and we end up in a whole debate about pizza versus sushi.
So, on the whole, relationships are like a puzzle where the pieces don't always fit, but you keep trying to force them together because, on the whole, love is a beautiful mess. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself to justify the whole pizza for dinner thing.
I recently decided to get my life together and try this whole diet thing. You know, eat healthier, live longer, all that jazz. They say you should look at your diet "on the whole." So, I did. I looked at my fridge, and on the whole, it was a sad state of affairs. I had a whole lot of expired yogurt and a whole lot of regret.
And don't get me started on the whole kale trend. They say kale is a superfood. Well, on the whole, it tastes like I'm chewing on a piece of my neighbor's lawn. I don't need a whole lot of superfoods; I just need something that won't taste like I'm eating the whole garden!
So, on the whole, I've decided that my diet is going to consist of a whole lot of "I tried, but pizza exists.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful farmer? On the whole, he was outstanding in his field!
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time on the whole.
On the whole, I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.
I decided to start a bakery because, on the whole, I kneaded dough.
Why did the math book look sad? On the whole, too many problems.
On the whole, I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
On the whole, I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Why did the computer go to therapy? On the whole, it had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
On the whole, I like to think I'm a pretty laid-back person. But then, I remember I'm a mattress.
On the whole, I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
On the whole, I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y on the whole.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? On the whole, because they make up everything!
On the whole, I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I told my computer I needed a break, but it gave me a Kit-Kat on the whole.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already on the whole.
On the whole, I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I'm writing a book on anti-gravity. It's a real page-turner on the whole.
Why did the bicycle fall over? On the whole, it was two-tired.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers on the whole.

Online Shoppers

Balancing the excitement of delivery day with the guilt of overspending
Online shopping has turned me into a tracking number stalker. I refresh the page every five minutes, hoping my package is having a more exciting journey than I am.

Gym Goers

The battle between fitness and the love for snacks
My fitness tracker thinks I'm dead every night. It's like, "Congratulations, you've reached your step goal for today!" Yeah, because I sleepwalk my way to fitness.

Parents

The eternal struggle of getting kids to bed
My kids have this incredible ability to become expert negotiators at bedtime. It's like a scene from a movie, but instead of hostages, it's me negotiating with a five-year-old for "just five more minutes.

Office Workers

Navigating the office dynamics
The office coffee machine has two settings: lukewarm and regret. I'm convinced it's the source of all passive-aggressive Post-it notes.

Pet Owners

The constant struggle of understanding pet behavior
Cats are like furry philosophers. They sit there, judging your life choices, and occasionally knock something off a shelf, just to keep you on your toes.

On the Whole

People use on the whole like it's a verbal safety net. My friend tried to set me up on a blind date, and he said, On the whole, she's a catch. Well, on the hole, she caught a lobster at dinner and named it Larry.

On the Whole

I heard a motivational speaker say, On the whole, success is about hard work and determination. I tried explaining this to my WiFi router, but on the hole, it still refuses to connect when I need it the most. Success, apparently, has a hole in its signal.

On the Whole

I was at the doctor's office, and he said, On the whole, your health is pretty good. I was relieved until he added, But on the hole, you might want to cut back on those midnight snacks. Midnight snacks are the whole reason I see a doctor!

On the Whole

I overheard someone say, On the whole, I prefer dogs over cats. I get that. Dogs are loyal, affectionate, and always happy to see you. Cats, on the other hand, are like, On the whole, I'll acknowledge your existence if I feel like it.

On the Whole

I told my parents, On the whole, I'm a responsible adult. Then they found out I consider doing laundry as folding my clothes in half and shoving them in a drawer. Apparently, responsibility is lost on the hole.

On the Whole

I tried using on the whole to make my life sound more put together. Like, On the whole, my life is pretty organized. Then my friend came over, opened my closet, and said, On the whole, your idea of organized chaos is just chaos.

On the Whole

I was at a family reunion, and Aunt Margaret starts giving this whole speech about family values and unity. She goes, On the whole, we are a strong family. Yeah, Aunt Margaret, on the whole, we're strong, but individually, Uncle Bob can't even open a pickle jar without help.

On the Whole

You ever notice how people use the phrase on the whole to sound sophisticated? Like, Well, on the whole, I believe in a balanced diet. Yeah, on the whole, I believe in a balanced diet too, but on the hole of a donut is where I find true happiness.

On the Whole

My girlfriend and I were having a serious talk, and she goes, On the whole, I think our relationship is solid. Yeah, on the whole, it's solid, but when she said that, I accidentally knocked over a plant, and suddenly, our relationship was on the hole.

On the Whole

You know you're in for a treat when someone begins a sentence with on the whole. My boss called me into his office and said, On the whole, you're doing a great job. I thought I was getting a raise, but on the hole, my paycheck still looked like it was on a diet.
Let's talk about folding fitted sheets, shall we? On the whole, it's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. I have a theory that somewhere out there, there's a secret society of people who can fold fitted sheets perfectly, and they guard this knowledge like it's the key to the universe.
On the whole, why is it that when you're waiting for your food to heat up in the microwave, those last 30 seconds feel longer than waiting for an entire season of your favorite TV show to drop? It's like, come on microwave, I just want my leftover pizza, not a time-travel experience.
Have you ever noticed that the speed at which you're able to peel a banana is directly proportional to how hungry you are? When you're famished, it's like you've unlocked a hidden talent for banana peeling. But when you're just mildly hungry, suddenly the banana peel becomes an impenetrable fortress.
Have you ever noticed that the snooze button on an alarm clock is basically a gateway drug to procrastination? It's that sweet, sweet temptation that says, "Five more minutes won't hurt." Next thing you know, you're negotiating with yourself for an hour, and suddenly you're late for work. Thanks, snooze button, for turning me into a negotiator with time.
You ever notice that when you try to plug in a USB, you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right the first time? It's like a modern-day coin flip. I'm convinced that somewhere, there's a parallel universe where USBs always go in on the first try. But here, it's a dance of trial and error.
Why is it that we always run out of storage space on our phones right when we're about to capture that epic moment? It's like our phones have this sixth sense and decide, "You know what? Today is the day we run out of space, just as you're about to record your cat doing something adorable.
Let's talk about finding matching socks after doing laundry. On the whole, it's like a quest for the Holy Grail. You start with a full set, throw them into the laundry machine, and somehow, by the end, you're left with a collection of loners. It's like socks have their own secret society, and they're determined to live a solo life.
Have you ever noticed that the checkout line at the grocery store always moves at the speed of a sloth in slow motion, especially when you're in a hurry? It's like the universe conspires to make sure that the person in front of you has an entire cart full of items and decides to pay with a check.
Let's talk about TV remote controls. Why do they have so many buttons? I mean, half the time, I'm not even sure what each button does. It's like they hired a spaceship engineer to design a device for changing channels and adjusting the volume. I just want to watch TV, not launch a rocket.
Have you ever noticed that the moment you decide to clean your car, it rains? It's like Mother Nature has a sense of humor and decides to test your commitment to a clean vehicle. I swear, the rain knows, and it's out there saying, "Not today, buddy.

Post a Comment


How was your experience?
0 0 reviews
5 Stars
(0)
4 Stars
(0)
3 Stars
(0)
2 Stars
(0)
1 Stars
(0)

Topic of the day

Go-somewhere
Apr 05 2025

0
Total Topics
0
Added Today