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You know you're at Ole Miss when even the ghosts are friendly. I walked by a haunted mansion, and the ghost was like, "Hey y'all, welcome! We've been dead for centuries, but we still know how to throw a good Southern haunting.
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At Ole Miss, they have a class on the art of saying "y'all" with the perfect Southern charm. I signed up, and now I can confidently say, "Y'all, I graduated from Ole Miss, and my accent's so sweet, even my GPS says 'bless your heart' when I miss a turn.
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Ole Miss has the friendliest football team. They don't tackle you; they just give you a warm hug and whisper, "It's okay, we'll get 'em next time." It's like playing against a team of motivational speakers.
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At Ole Miss, they have a course on sweet tea pouring etiquette. It's a prerequisite for graduation. I tried to pour my sweet tea too fast, and the professor gave me a disapproving look, like I'd insulted their great-grandmother's secret recipe.
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I was driving through Ole Miss the other day, and I saw a sign that said, "Speed limit enforced by radar." Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't see a single squirrel holding a radar gun. Guess they're more into acorn enforcement than speeding tickets.
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You know you're at Ole Miss when you see a group of students having a heated debate about which brand of grits is superior. I didn't know grits could be a controversial topic, but apparently, it's a serious matter down here.
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You ever notice how at Ole Miss, the squirrels act like they're auditioning for a reality show? I saw one of them holding a tiny microphone, giving a passionate speech about the scarcity of acorns. I think they're preparing for "Squirrel Shore" or something.
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I tried to order a salad at a local restaurant in Oxford, and the waiter looked at me like I just asked for directions to the moon. He said, "Honey, we've got fried green tomatoes and biscuits. Salad? Bless your heart.
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They say time moves a bit slower down at Ole Miss. I went to their library, and the librarian was like, "Shhh, no need to rush. We're on Mississippi time here. You'll get your overdue book notice... eventually.
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