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In the old west, they had quick-draw shootouts. Nowadays, the only quick draw we have is grabbing our phones when it rings to avoid talking to people. "Sorry, gotta take this. It's the sheriff.
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Stagecoaches in the old west were like the original Uber Pool. You'd be on your way to a gunfight, and they'd pick up a cowboy or two along the way. "Hey, can you drop me off at the saloon? I got a poker game at 3.
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You know, in the old west, they had wanted posters for outlaws. Nowadays, we have social media, where people willingly post their crimes. "Just robbed a bank, #OutlawLife, feeling cute, might delete later.
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You ever notice how in the old west, people had these epic duels at high noon? I can't even decide what to have for lunch without checking Yelp reviews. Imagine Yelp in the old west: "Three stars for the gunfight, too much dust, would not duel again.
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The old west had wanted dead or alive posters. If they did that today, I imagine they'd have a checkbox for "delivery options." "Yeah, I want Billy the Kid, but I prefer him alive, and can you throw in free shipping?
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You know, they say the old west was a lawless place. If they had traffic laws, I bet even the tumbleweeds would get pulled over. "Sir, do you know how fast you were rolling through this ghost town? I'm gonna have to write you a ticket for reckless tumbling.
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The old west had tumbleweeds rolling through ghost towns. Nowadays, we have tumbleweeds in our social lives. You invite someone to hang out, and all you get is a virtual tumbleweed emoji in response.
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Imagine if they had smartphones in the old west. Cowboys would be on Instagram, posting pictures of their trusty steed and trying to get the perfect sepia tone filter for that rustic feel.
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The old west had saloons with swinging doors. I wish we still had those today. You leave a room dramatically without having to worry about who's holding the door for you. Just a dramatic swing, and you're out. It's like a cowboy exit strategy.
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