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The Casual Viewer
Navigating the Sea of Football Jargon
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I asked my friend what a "Hail Mary" is in football. He said it's a desperate last-minute pass. I thought, "I've been throwing Hail Marys my whole life during exams, not realizing it's a football term!
The Confused Newcomer
Navigating the Buckeye Frenzy
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I decided to host a game night without realizing it was game day. My friends asked, "Why is your living room so quiet?" I said, "Oh, the TV is broken." Little did they know, I was just competing with 100,000 fans screaming for Ohio State.
The Anti-Football Intellectual
Resisting Peer Pressure to Join the Hype
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I tried to impress a date with my vast knowledge of philosophy during a game. She asked, "Who's winning?" I said, "Existentialism is winning, my dear. Life has no inherent meaning, but hey, go Buckeyes.
The Overly Superstitious Fan
Believing in Rituals for Victory
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I take superstition to the next level. I once missed the kickoff, and we were losing. I rushed to the TV, and guess what? We scored immediately. Now I'm convinced my presence in the living room directly affects the outcome. Move over, coaches; I'm the real game-changer!
The Die-Hard Fan
Balancing Fanaticism and Reality
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Being an Ohio State fan is like having a second job. I spend so much time analyzing plays and stats. My friend said, "You should use that dedication at work." I told him, "Well, if my boss starts measuring my performance in touchdowns, I'll be employee of the month!
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