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Customer Service Rep for a GPS Company
Dealing with customers who blame the GPS for their mistakes
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One lady called, yelling that the GPS ruined her marriage. Apparently, it directed her husband to a jewelry store instead of a therapist's office. I suggested he might have just been looking for a different kind of "relationship guidance.
Dating App Moderator
Ensuring profiles are within the guidelines
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My job is to swipe left on profiles that violate the terms, and after a while, it feels like I'm the gatekeeper of love. "Sorry, sir, you can't enter the kingdom of romance with that shirtless bathroom selfie. Next!
Censored Bleep Specialist
Navigating through a sea of bleeps in explicit content
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People think my job is easy, but you try bleeping out an entire sentence and making it sound natural. It's like trying to turn a swear word into a smooth jazz riff. "You motherbleepin' jerk" becomes "You smooth jazz jerk.
Office Party Organizer
Dealing with inappropriate behavior at an office party
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I tried to spice up the party with a game of "Pin the Tail on the Boss," but HR wasn't thrilled. Apparently, they frown upon blindfolded employees approaching managers with a thumbtack.
Laundry Detergent Developer
Creating a detergent that works on stubborn stains
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We're working on a new formula that promises to erase embarrassing moments from your clothes. I spilled coffee on myself during a meeting, and all my colleagues saw it. The detergent failed that day, but I'll persevere – my dignity is at stake.
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