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You know, I recently delved into the world of online dating. It's a jungle out there, folks. Nietzsche once said, "Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes." Well, in the online dating world, love might be blind, but it seems to have misplaced its glasses. I mean, have you seen some of those profile pictures? It's like they're applying the "philosophy of the selfie" with a touch of existential crisis. I came across a profile the other day that said, "Looking for a partner in crime." I thought, "Well, Nietzsche did say, 'You must be chaos to give birth to a dancing star.' Maybe they're just looking for a little existential mischief." So, I messaged them and said, "I'm chaos personified. Let's grab coffee." Turns out, they were just looking for someone to split the dessert with. Nietzsche didn't prepare me for that level of chaos.
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Family dinners can be a challenge, especially when you've got Nietzsche echoing in your mind. He said, "In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs, it is the rule." Well, Nietzsche, you clearly never attended my family dinners. I tried dropping a little Nietzsche knowledge at the dinner table, saying, "God is dead," just to spice things up. Turns out, that's not the ideal conversation starter when Aunt Mildred is trying to pass the mashed potatoes. Now, I'm banned from bringing up philosophy at family gatherings. Nietzsche, you owe me a Thanksgiving turkey.
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Lazy Sundays are supposed to be a time of relaxation, right? Well, Nietzsche disagrees. He said, "A thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us." So now, every lazy Sunday, I'm sitting on my couch contemplating the universe, wondering if I'm being shattered and transformed or if I should just order pizza. I try to embrace the laziness, but Nietzsche keeps whispering, "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe." Now, I'm not sure if he meant my Netflix tribe or the actual human tribe, but it's making me reconsider my binge-watching choices. Maybe I should switch to documentaries about existentialism and call it self-improvement.
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I've been trying to get in shape lately, and Nietzsche's wisdom has been haunting me at the gym. He said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Well, if that's the case, I should have the strength of a thousand Spartans by now. I mean, have you ever tried doing squats after a Nietzsche quote pops into your head? It's like philosophical aerobics. I'm at the gym, struggling with the weights, and Nietzsche is in my ear saying, "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." I'm thinking, "I came here to lift weights, not to solve the meaning of life!" Next time, I'm bringing dumbbells and earplugs—Nietzsche, you're not my spotter.
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