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My mom dropped a subtle hint about what she wanted for her birthday. She said, "I just want something simple, like diamonds." Yeah, because nothing says simplicity like rare, expensive, carbon crystals.
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You ever notice how moms have a sixth sense about gift prices? You can wrap a present in layers of paper, put it in a box, and seal it with tape, but somehow they'll still figure out the exact cost and question your financial decisions.
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I asked my mom what she wanted for her birthday, and she said, "Just your love." So, I guess she wasn't a fan of the "No Budget" option I was considering.
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I tried to be all fancy and bake a cake for my mom's birthday. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs." I don't know where they went, but now my cake has an identity crisis.
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You know, getting the perfect birthday gift for your mom is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You spend hours searching, and when you finally think you've found it, you realize it's just another hay-scented candle.
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Birthdays are like a test of your memory. You remember to get a gift, but you forget it's your mom's birthday until Facebook politely reminds you with a notification. Thanks, Zuckerberg, for keeping my maternal relationships intact.
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Birthdays are the only time it's socially acceptable to light something on fire indoors. "Happy Birthday, Mom! Here's a cake with more candles than a power outage.
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Shopping for a birthday card for your mom is an emotional roller coaster. You start in the "Heartfelt Messages" section and end up in the "Funny Puns" aisle, contemplating if a joke about aging is appropriate.
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Ever notice how birthday celebrations at home involve the whole family? It's like, "Happy Birthday, Mom! Let's all gather in the living room and pretend we enjoy singing in awkward unison.
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